tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11963401631288159442024-03-12T17:18:58.413-07:00amaranthine joydeBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.comBlogger228125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-79999677859339416032013-09-21T07:37:00.001-07:002013-09-21T07:37:14.995-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdua_urOnPVwM5Kb6qt_8rIqNeT9MCA4HRNGMmiuvroQd-uZLf-RjHpdL3ndMvagHY8R2v47cIpajQniyVxpCiMq8TN13GfHRtWCyIeJmI-f72EHHwBrhv8C6lXMBgtJTN-BeiLJL3QI2k/s1600/living+room.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdua_urOnPVwM5Kb6qt_8rIqNeT9MCA4HRNGMmiuvroQd-uZLf-RjHpdL3ndMvagHY8R2v47cIpajQniyVxpCiMq8TN13GfHRtWCyIeJmI-f72EHHwBrhv8C6lXMBgtJTN-BeiLJL3QI2k/s1600/living+room.JPG" /></a></div>
<br />deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-22574511601385363892013-07-04T10:22:00.001-07:002013-07-04T10:32:39.650-07:00Women's apparel 101<p dir="ltr">Major win today.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As I was frantically pulling things out of my closet looking for a suitable outfit for work this morning, I came across a pair of leggings I forgot I even had! </p>
<p dir="ltr">(A quick warning to all guys, we girls may own upwards of 10 pairs of leggings of all sorts at any given time. Excessive? Yes. Absolutely essential? Yes. Room for argument or compromise? Absolutely no.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">So I found another pair of black leggings. Big whoop. F a l s e. What sets these ones apart from the rest is the breadth of elasticity in the waistline. One huge caveat to wearing leggings is the tightness around the top. Such tightness allows the apparel to stay up - not letting the material sag and bunch around the knees and ankles. However, the tight squeeze offers little room for your digestive organs to operate smoothly throughout the day. You will find, without fail, that by the end of the day you're suffering from mysterious stomach cramps that don't seem to be linked to food poisoning or dysentery. Culprit: tight leggings that pool all your stomach gases below the waistline. Bleahhh discomfort.</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Again guys, do not let anyone fool you into thinking girls don't fart. That's very much a lie. The honest truth is we fart - but like unicorns, it's highly magical and if lucky, there may be sprinkles and glitter dust)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Back to today's find.. no gaseous pooling and all day comfort! I'm so happy. Unfortunately for you though, there will be no magical sparkles show ;) at least there's fireworks tonight!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Happy fourth of July!</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTklPpiY7U2rX0mSSudKv68SaRkkmYtUPl6hNdAsnD12PJemck4LWptw4-5SQ9ly-Duone9GMNpieyQLt5zFgAxaRWOX26sAabCd2cQM3s5kngVI1tkKVqA5A9NnnJsljUT17cDj0WQEYj/s1600/1372957575245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTklPpiY7U2rX0mSSudKv68SaRkkmYtUPl6hNdAsnD12PJemck4LWptw4-5SQ9ly-Duone9GMNpieyQLt5zFgAxaRWOX26sAabCd2cQM3s5kngVI1tkKVqA5A9NnnJsljUT17cDj0WQEYj/s640/1372957575245.jpg"> </a> </div>deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-32285795982202193292013-05-18T11:09:00.001-07:002013-05-18T11:09:49.118-07:00cat cat meow.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQRL_OI3qFbYbkcd2SEnaBsg4J1pTqe9PSwXOvAG_fankdD539oN5EsaNPK1VnUlBrjzbRwDCU-UPa1iqrwVFhkKl7KMNcE7Kuk-PRhxILkPyhmzdFUalYnH2v9fZokvU_5WngL0Hs5eSJ/s1600/cats.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="420" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQRL_OI3qFbYbkcd2SEnaBsg4J1pTqe9PSwXOvAG_fankdD539oN5EsaNPK1VnUlBrjzbRwDCU-UPa1iqrwVFhkKl7KMNcE7Kuk-PRhxILkPyhmzdFUalYnH2v9fZokvU_5WngL0Hs5eSJ/s640/cats.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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weekends at work are pretty slow so i pulled up our new menu that i'm working to make some changes. i clicked open the clip art tab to insert some generic jpgs of food but instead found dreamy looking kitties suspended in psychedelic realms of soft gradient colors. my favorite is <i>kittens with stars and bubbles background.</i> i dunno.. i'm feeling divinely inspired.. we're all about patient satisfaction here and i think i've just come across the solution to all our grumpy patients. we'll see what my boss thinks. i really hope she's on board with this revolutionary, cutting-edge idea.deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-90992537712423477652013-04-21T09:26:00.001-07:002013-04-21T09:26:56.741-07:00name changethere was a time in my life when i desperately wished i could change my middle name to <i>marie</i>. growing up in a very white, catholic town in new york, i was super envious of my lady friends who carried the virgin's namesake among their trio of proper nouns. wanting to change my name was motivated purely by my desire for social acceptance and not having to melt/die in my seat as teachers read off my name during roll call. deborah <i>waaaaaang </i>lee?? -__- ugh sigh. teachers did very little to encourage my self-esteem. thankfully, i've made great strides in overcoming the embarrassment of sharing my mom's maiden name and the need to change it. <br />
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now that i'm in the early (or is it late? meh =/) stages of adulthood, there's a renewed reason to toy with the idea of changing my name. among my friends and coworkers, there's a whole lot of hoopla over taking on the guy's last name after they solidify their nuptials. whether it's for convenience, a sign of independence, professional or publication reasons, ethnic pride, auditory aesthetics, or having to come up with a new signature, some would rather opt out of the name change. plus, there's the idea that the practice is archaic in a society where patrilineal rule is often irrelevant (ie. feminism, single parenting, etc).<br />
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for me, the idea of changing last names comes very naturally. <i>that's just how it is.</i> my parents did it, my sister did it, seems like a good idea so i might as well do it too. there's something exciting about being adopted into a new name, signifying the start of a new family. but beyond that, i might be at risk for following tradition just for the sake of social norm. <br />
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last weekend during youth group, billy gave a talk on god's covenant with abraham.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>abram fell facedown, and god said to him, "as for me, this is my covenant with you: you will be the father of many nations. no longer will you be called abram; your name will be abraham, for i have made you a father of many nations. i will make you very fruitful; i will make nations of you, and kings will come from you. i will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your god and the god of your descendants after you.</i> genesis 17</blockquote>
billy described the significance of the name change as a reflection of abraham's character and his destiny, as revealed by god. but why couldn't god just say <i>"hey abram! imma bless you and make you a nation. done."</i> and leave it at that without the whole name change process? granted there was no social security and driver's license ordeal to muddle through; but on the face of the situation, it seemed quite unnecessary. here's a man who's a hundred years old.. though the bible doesn't reveal any signs of dementia, senility, symptoms of old age, seems a little late in the game to be changing up someone's name.<br />
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i think that's just it though. if i suddenly change my name right now to <i>pink unicorn ride, </i>there's bound to be a stunner effect, a far cry from what i've (and everyone else has) always known - and with that, a tangible reminder of my decision to make that change. perhaps in my mind i will think, <i>yes, that's me! because pink unicorns are so fluffeh i wanna diez cuz i lub dem so much!! </i>obviously that's a highly extrapolated analogy.. ;) <br />
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as billy shared, god changed abraham's name to reflect his promise - that it always be a reminder to him of the covenant that was made. in the same way, changing your last name when you get married is a reflection of the covenant that was made at the altar. and from thereon, whenever you write, speak or hear your new name, it serves as a reminder of the commitment you made to god and to each other to remain in that promise. this, to me, is sound reason enough to change my name instead of blindly following tradition. it'd also give me a reason to swap out my current middle name =]<br />
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conversely, i wonder if guys have a strong preference for their spouse to change their name? <br />
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side note.. if you think about it, generally the <i>ring</i> is supposed to denote these same concepts - but the difference in cost between a ring and legal name change is <i>hundreds </i>maybe <i>thousands. </i> like a metaphorical ring without the giant pricetag. so from a financial point of view, it'd be more cost effective to change your name rather than getting a ring - which includes all the fuss of choosing one :D hahaadeBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-18334578190412636782013-04-02T07:37:00.000-07:002013-04-02T07:37:03.006-07:00strong words<span style="background-color: white; color: #4c4c4c; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.44444465637207px; line-height: 23.33333396911621px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4c4c4c; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.44444465637207px; line-height: 23.33333396911621px;">You know, I'm aware of the fact that it's not fashionable to center one's life around faith. But if ridicule and contempt come my way for believing in moral absolutes that set the standards by which we are to live, rather than moving the goal posts constantly so I can claim to be winning at life when I'm just lowering the standards to make it appear that way, then I'll joyfully take the ridicule. I'm gonna have all eternity to get over that ridicule.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #4c4c4c; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.44444465637207px; line-height: 23.33333396911621px;"><i>-mike huckabee</i></span></div>
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deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-9284569130619510182013-03-28T08:21:00.002-07:002013-03-28T08:39:10.883-07:00male make up artists are just as dangerous<p dir=ltr>i don't usually wear pancake batter on my face. but i had a wedding to be in so i thought i'd invest in some and look nice for pictures. originally i went to the local drugstore looking for makeup but felt convicted to stop breaking open seals and testing out foundations in the mirrors of the sunglasses rack. </p>
<p dir=ltr>off to ulta i go! when it comes to makeup, all i know is the limited experience i have doing my own face, my own way. so i assumed i could entrust my skin to this place where magical on-site make up elves reside and lead me to the perfect choice of pancake batter. </p>
<p dir=ltr>i walk in and am instantly approached by a dude. neatly waxed eyebrows, distinct cheeckbones, slight curl of eyelashes and tight black pants. am i skeptical? shore. but what do i know about the world of fashion and beauty? i kindly tell him my dilemma of not wanting anything thick that would melt off my face as i stand erect in the sun while my friends exchange vows - but wanting to give my face that ethereal, soft glow that's so sought after in wedding pictures. when it comes to knowledge of different products, he seemed to be able to sound convincing enough for a critic like me. apparently you can't just buy pancake batter. there's moisturizer, primer, the batter itself, powder, and finally a finishing spray. seriously?! lemme just wear a kabuki mask.</p>
<p dir=ltr>so we decide on a bb cream with spf. despite the horrid smell of spf, i conclude that the aboriginal mountain people blood in me is gonna want it when the sun starts turning onto me at 4pm. my private make up consultant sits me down on one of their highball chairs and proceeds to paint my face with some sketchy looking brushes he keeps in his fanny pack. </p>
<p dir=ltr>he starts out with the lightest color on hand. in my head i'm thinking, really?! mind you, i'm not one of those pale, i'm-afraid-of-the-sun asian kinda people who wear face shields while they're driving (some people will know what i'm talking about =/ ). i have mountain people blood in me so generally i look closer to ethiopian during the summer months. going with a light cream on me means you must have some issues with the rods in your eyeballs. so i ask him to try a few darker shades just to make sure i get the correct shade of expensive goop.</p>
<p dir=ltr>here's my own personal mistake that i'll 'fess up to. ulta has the worst form of fluorescent lights in the store. everyone knows these long white rods of light turn even the most attractive skin into a pale, grayish blue green tinge look. the putrid look of your skin under such conditions makes it nearly impossible to distinguish subtle changes in shade as you're testing out different batters. i should have known this and not let the tattooed artist decide the fate of my skin.</p>
<p dir=ltr>so now that he'd painted my face into a mosaic of nude colors, i had the great joy of distinguishing which color was best for my skin. as i said earlier, i'd originally walked into the store with the hopeful anticipation of placing my face in the hands of an expert. as he tried to convince me that i needed the light color, my inner 1/16 aboriginal taiwanese conscious was chanting "serious?!?? clearly i am not light". but the naive trust that i'd innocently given over to the experts was pulling me to concede with the guy who shaped his eyebrows every morning. and so i found myself at the registers with my smashbox bb cream in light.</p>
<p dir=ltr>fast forward a few hours later. i'm standing in front of my sink under the gangsta light of my 1940s bathroom sink, smearing glop all over my face. what the heckama?! i look like a freaking vampire.</p>
<p dir=ltr>ughh.</p>
<p dir=ltr>so the story comes to a close. i only hope to impart to you the wisdom i've gained from this experience: when a dude tries to tell you he knows how to paint your face, be skeptical. </p>
deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-36618615450203677382013-01-11T10:51:00.001-08:002013-01-11T10:51:52.143-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOLSAFSlelMS7EKFzDquN7fPiwqRmjjtnuAuPDIHKPn4Fl90F5ewiadXqjSxlhXeu5PSeZvU9aTHNo4srel1AWu8m2J3eKKo8GQU-5NDl_moiu9GWCHYbq81bLrGAmgdgedMJfXSclvP75/s1600/nikon+lens.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOLSAFSlelMS7EKFzDquN7fPiwqRmjjtnuAuPDIHKPn4Fl90F5ewiadXqjSxlhXeu5PSeZvU9aTHNo4srel1AWu8m2J3eKKo8GQU-5NDl_moiu9GWCHYbq81bLrGAmgdgedMJfXSclvP75/s640/nikon+lens.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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one of these things is not like the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueZ6tvqhk8U">others</a> =]<br />
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<br />deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-37300821573427461732012-12-31T16:56:00.001-08:002012-12-31T17:00:29.396-08:00Joys of living<p dir=ltr>These days I don't have much reason to go to costco other than to fill up my dino's belly. Since I don't eat much and can only afford novel electronic items once every fiscal year I generally just leave it to my brother to help rack up the cash back on our shared account.</p>
<p dir=ltr>However today I realized there's one particular item that can determine the sole reason why I would go to Costco.  Now that I pay a rent premium for my own bathroom, im also looking at having to purchase my own toilet paper - something I have not done for 5 years!  I'm currently going through the 4-pack I swiped from the big house before turning in my keys (I dare you to judge me), and I'm finding how spoiled I was to be treated to a never ending supply of the fluffiest version of Charmin.  Unfortunately this high end brand of toilet paper runs out really fast! All that fluffy means less squares per roll compared to your average joe roll.</p>
<p dir=ltr>What this means for me is a need to think creatively and efficiently about this toilet paper buying adventure that I am soon needing to embark on. Earlier this week I shared a TED video about efficient paper towel usage. By using only one sheet of paper towel, the presenter was able to thoroughly dry his hands aND save trees at the same time.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I do not believe the same can be done with toilet paper. I'm more likely to selfishly claim adequate amounts of paper per use than to be thinking about Saharan deforestation.. or where ever toilet paper pulp comes from.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Thus, my brilliant realization! Nothing will complete it's job more satisfactorily and efficiently than Kirkland Signature brand toilet paper from Costco! It's complete honesty that I'm so excited to go get my gigantic 10 pound pack of toilet paper!!!</p>
<p dir=ltr>Happy new year everyone! May this new year bring you as much joy as my imminent toilet paper purchase :)</p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCzh8SOI5bwtE9ZzCnuTnMv13KquIlxDpoP-lAS2Q3E12NEXjtGVfX58t5iJA2j1MF6T8qll0z-n_lDExe5F5OBNYkHootWB9vQZG6BfMzqjsH58BIpryGbccISaHRdY2ah5OzEIWdpdg/s1600/C360_2012-12-31-16-31-59.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCzh8SOI5bwtE9ZzCnuTnMv13KquIlxDpoP-lAS2Q3E12NEXjtGVfX58t5iJA2j1MF6T8qll0z-n_lDExe5F5OBNYkHootWB9vQZG6BfMzqjsH58BIpryGbccISaHRdY2ah5OzEIWdpdg/s640/C360_2012-12-31-16-31-59.jpg' /> </a> </div>deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-54933439001815774392012-12-27T22:33:00.001-08:002012-12-27T22:33:42.503-08:00Christmas present for myself<p dir=ltr>Over Christmas my brother came home with the brand new Samsung Galaxy III.. didn't take long for me to decide I wanted it too ;) My trusty incredible had lasted me over 2 years but recently its been having storage issues that prevent me from accessing any of my apps. Ever since Verizon rolled out their new shared plan, I've been weary of upgrading and losing my unlimited data plan. Interestingly, the guy at the store looked up my data usage and I only average 0.8G per month. That's a long shot from the 2gig limit I now have for the same price! Time to watch more movies on my phone!</p>
<p dir=ltr>Cool features on the phone include front facing camera, lightening fast shutter speed that can catch my bunny in action, and whistling cat call whenever I receive an email :D</p>
<p dir=ltr>Unfortunately my long awaited internet connection is not so satisfactory. </p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR23BB7SzSpKjtd2rtTcV-b9Rm3t2kkg-6hdPfuM4lCnq8j_9ZjSXms061Q1X86k012OT2E1rzh176P0JHkXSeoLbKpQ4HvG3tyLIMkjcA7mzkr1l4_bn0NL3Wwvldj5DerjBUP8KX_mcr/s1600/1356675269037.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR23BB7SzSpKjtd2rtTcV-b9Rm3t2kkg-6hdPfuM4lCnq8j_9ZjSXms061Q1X86k012OT2E1rzh176P0JHkXSeoLbKpQ4HvG3tyLIMkjcA7mzkr1l4_bn0NL3Wwvldj5DerjBUP8KX_mcr/s640/1356675269037.jpg' /> </a> </div><div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmqfqfEZTxh2966viGi4rMl5DrdNZtf9Qclk12_2sjgO_Rbjh_xqZqLl01H1m2btFqXtj5OQuAEfKWhBfQEjJ0CqAWeXcEvaaieINbI8Fl1TJspmNH1VUmkxc4qsUE0nEusIzIbZBNKFPa/s1600/1356675017148.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmqfqfEZTxh2966viGi4rMl5DrdNZtf9Qclk12_2sjgO_Rbjh_xqZqLl01H1m2btFqXtj5OQuAEfKWhBfQEjJ0CqAWeXcEvaaieINbI8Fl1TJspmNH1VUmkxc4qsUE0nEusIzIbZBNKFPa/s640/1356675017148.jpg' /> </a> </div><div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsX3M7cE4Ca-hf_eety7RKxXeLYXgpqvaPLXBV1rr33oUnUJCqZsWAEwI9fZIUfALLdu1iM1swOi2UUFlbQuA4BMjQT9Yni2wZd6RcyDTRccNjXkz7cfAvW-jOlbyIMb-dd7HIm9TE7CXo/s1600/1356675064385.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsX3M7cE4Ca-hf_eety7RKxXeLYXgpqvaPLXBV1rr33oUnUJCqZsWAEwI9fZIUfALLdu1iM1swOi2UUFlbQuA4BMjQT9Yni2wZd6RcyDTRccNjXkz7cfAvW-jOlbyIMb-dd7HIm9TE7CXo/s640/1356675064385.jpg' /> </a> </div>deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-64199665352904991572012-12-25T01:07:00.001-08:002012-12-25T02:11:51.963-08:00Rules for dating<div><p>I debated for a long time whether I would share my wisdomous insight (HA) on this particular subject for a couple reasons. Mainly, I'm not exactly qualified to give advice seeing as no relationship I've ever been in has ever progressed to a permanent situation. Also, I'm weary that these things can be very abstract and dependent on specific circumstances/individuals to warrant a broad sweeping analysis. And finally, too close to home.. I finally decided that while I have no qualifying experience and my track record stands at 0 wins, by the grace of god I'm doing okay so maybe I.could.share a few reasons why.</p>
<p>1. Cover yourself completely in bubblewrap on your dates. You think I'm joking?? Hmm.. then you're right ;) What I mean is, hands (and everything else) off. Maybe I'm maniacally puritanistic but I believe physical relationships are so much easier to progress in compared to everything else - and if there is an imbalance in building the spiritual, emotional and physical deals, it's possible to have a false sense of intimacy that will inevitably lead to sad stuffs. If things don't pan out between the two, there's less debris to clean up, less baggage to bring into another friendlationship, and little regret.</p>
<p>2. Guys - don't tell the girl she's the one you want to marry soon after she accepts your interest in going out. This is just asking for super freak out and you're going to scare her away! By all means, think about and pray and stuff because its important that at least one of the two is thinking intentionally and all that. (In fact, its admirable that you do!) Just don't say it out loud just yet. Especially after date 2. Doing so could potentially up the pressure ante for the lady to respond. And if there's anything guys can learn about girls, it's that we're terribly inept at arriving at that place of surety so soon.</p>
<p>3. Now that I've shared how nOT to display your ardent intentions, I'll go ahead and confuse you some more by asking you to be completely focus-minded and precise about the reality of the relationship. It's my belief that if you feel, at 6 months into the relationship, that things are kind of funky, chances are things aRe funky. Take a good look at what's going down, get some trustworthy,  unbiased counsel and be prepared to move forward - whatever that might look like. </p>
<p>Disclaimer: Im a self-proclaimed non-commital. And I might run away from things at the slightest hint of uncertainty. That's not good.. But in my defense, I really do think that when gut instincts are coupled with solid counsel and the divine kind of conversations, <i>its okay.. </i></p>
<p>4. Trust god (yadayadayada) not just in your life but in [his] life as well. This dating sort of thing is not easy and oftentimes I complain that getting treated out for dinners and schmoozy outings just isn't worth all the fuss! So when friends tell me <i>just trust god, </i>I roll my cynical eyes and dismiss the prospect of ever meeting Mr. Hotstuff. </p>
<p>But life itself has given me more than enough reason to believe that God intends everything for good, for learning, for growing, for his greatest purpose. The challenging part is believing his same love and mercy for the other person. That if things don't work out - even when I've completely botched the process, it is for God to redeem, not me. To know this is so freeing and so easy to let go of hurt, anger, disappointment, failure, doubt, etc.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, we're all really messed up people despite the best of intentions and more often than not, I speak more for myself here, we're going to make a hot mess out of the whole thing. It seems like everything I desire to honor and glorify god in all I do is super tested when it comes to dating - but the story is that he is still sovereign and faithful.. and gigantically forgiving. If nothing else is worth it, experiencing all of who god is through the process is worth a shot.</p>
<p>So happy dating!</p>
</div>deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-91584012796553556062012-12-11T21:26:00.001-08:002012-12-11T21:29:43.561-08:00To pray like zechariah prayed<div><p>Him and Elizabeth were old - well beyond their once young and spritely selves. But then when the angel of god appears to him, he says "your prayer has been heard". So weird! Why in the world would zechariah be praying for a kid??  Being old, possibly knowing his physical and emotional limitations to raising a child, having a kid is cray-cray. Although being barren in those days was tough, he'd probably accepted it and learned to manage without diapers and teenage rebellion. Life as he knew it would continue with just the two.</p>
<p>And yet it seems like his desire for a child was something he secretly and continually prayed for.</p>
<p>I could learn something here.</p>
<br/><img src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6pxVhdIm78h4uiRypJeahUDwxlsAMPsJxHvnhYaRYPXl7iPeNRzqNOAQFWYHHjqW5hDYE2aD90uO7Ds9gWdkwcoWkGwKnZv16jVVn5bVJSSq25d0oCjjgh3aq8VXIrPpT_E9f5ABXtAXG/' /></div>deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-68646263043495376032012-11-29T21:51:00.000-08:002012-11-29T21:52:26.192-08:00fiiiiive golden riiiiiingsss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<i>every once in awhile my hospital hosts benefit sales to help fund service projects in the community.</i><br />
<br />
<b>jeweler:</b> who are you buying a ring for?<br />
<b>me:</b> me.<br />
<b>jeweler:</b> really?? you must have someone who buys you jewelry.<br />
<b>me:</b> nope. that's why i'm here.<br />
<b>jeweler:</b> aw, that's unfortunate.<br />
O_o<br />
<br />
well, that certainly boosted my self-esteem to nosebleed heights. but more importantly, i came away with pretty cute bling for cheap :D<br />
<br />
<br />deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-64232549633058594622012-11-08T22:36:00.001-08:002012-11-08T23:24:30.103-08:00spring comes early this yeararound 8pm every evening, father healy's calm and soothing voice flows though the PA system, tinged with the salty ocean air of ireland and filled with words of blessing and hope. yes, he's the man you want to deliver your eulogy. anyways, his evening prayer tonight hit a soft spot in my heart. probably the right ventricle to be specific ;)<br />
<br />
<i>like the weather today, sometimes we need to endure the harsh winters in order to enjoy the blessings of a beautiful spring that our lord brings us in his time.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
is there an amen out there!<br />
<br />
i love my job and the people i work with. i love that all my meals are programmed into a [subpar] computer program that is interfaced with all the patient information in the hospital making menu planning incredibly easy. i love that i can chat on the phone with patients and not have to endure the smell of yeast infections and portable commodes. i love that i can squeeze in exercise time by running around the kitchen in my wonderfully unfashionable orthopedic non-slip shoes. i love that my boss is hilariously into herself that i can get away with comments and jokes that would otherwise condemn me to unemployment checks. i love free food. i love snarky impatient nurses because i find them so easily soothed by free soda. it's a zoo at the hospital and i love it.<br />
<br />
all except for my work schedule.<br />
<br />
sure there are benefits to going in at noon such as setting my alarm clock for 11am. i can dawdle and nap and eat and nap again all before clocking in at work. grocery store, gas station and mall lines are significantly shorter at 10 in the morning. and of course, i get to host breakfast play dates with other night owls.<br />
<br />
but sometimes things gets a little sad and i put on my crabby pants to facilitate in self-pitying mopefests. coming home late means i don't get to see people. birthday dinner? movie night? small group? fellowship? <i>nunca. </i>many nights i've walked home to my big giant house feeling defeated and forgotten - wondering if anyone would notice if i ceased to exist. <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">darn you spiraling hormonal thoughts!!!</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
for two years i worked without benefits or vacation days. for two more years i worked with shifting, schizophrenic schedules. and for one year i felt like i lived in a cave. of course it wasn't all bad. for sure there's been compounding blessings and good times throughout. and despite minor and infrequent punches-in-the-stomach, god is good and life is good. but there have been times when i've found myself wedged in the corner of despair, wondering what good could possibly come out of this kind of schedule when my greatest struggle is loneliness and being forgotten. <i>ummm god? what were you thinking?!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
and so here i am, 5 years and many faith lessons later, i'm gonna start working mornings from now on. i'm sure a week into it i'll probably come back and post something about the hideousness of waking up at 4 in the morning. but until then, here's to mid afternoon naps, rush hour traffic and oh i don't know, some smidgen of a social life for this little homebody ;) i'm so excited!<br />
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<br />deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-51999063057268073142012-10-19T12:16:00.000-07:002012-10-19T12:16:43.649-07:00<blockquote class="tr_bq">
i confess it made me uneasy - makes me uneasy still - to think that this little book was out of my possession even for two days. the thought of another person reading my words is most discomforting. i cannot help but think how another person would interpret certain things i have written, for when i write for myself only, and know perfectly well the truth of what i write, i am perhaps less careful of my expression, and writing at speed, may sometimes express myself in a way that could be misinterpreted by another who would not have my insight into what i really mean. thinking over some of the things i have written, i can see that they might appear to a stranger in a light rather different from what i intended, and i wonder whether i should tear these pages and destroy them. only i do not want to, for these are the pages that i most want to keep, to read later, when i am old and gone from here, and think back to the happiness of [life].</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
~the thirteenth tale, diane setterfield</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it's a strange and eerily comforting moment all twisted together when i read something that so mirrors what i feel sometimes. <i>did she just telepathize herself into my brain noodles??</i> weird.</div>
deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-21977972900927485472012-10-15T21:42:00.001-07:002012-10-15T22:27:01.838-07:00no guts, no glory: i will follow you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<b>i'm watching you.</b><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>buhahhaahahaaa</i></div>
<br />
a serious topic and a serious-er topic:<br />
<br />
you know how sometimes the grasses and hedges get so far out of control that you need to send in the professionals along with reinforcement to do the work? so i went to get my eyebrows done again today.<br />
<br />
the lady was so sweet - letting me in as she was pulling the metal gate over the glass doors to close for the day. i think she took pity on me seeing the condition of my face.. fail moment of the day: as she set about working, she peers at my face and says <i>mmmyeahh i'm gonna have to do your forehead too.</i> guess that's a mild side effect of having mountain people blood in me =/<br />
<br />
<br />
i've been going through a bible study series with some ladies at church and it's <i>so</i> good. i'm kinda all over the place with thoughts all jumbled up, but i thought i'd share a couple from this week that goes along with my <i>no guts, no glory</i> deal. <br />
<br />
the last few months in sunday school, we'd been watching videos that go through the journey of finding god in the desert. it could just be production tactics - timely pauses and dramatic orchestration, ray vanderlaan's voice of depth and intensity, but every time i watch it, a boulder weighs heavily on my lungs so hard that held-back tears roll down my nasolacrimal ducts turning me into a mess of snot. <br />
<br />
because the truth is, oftentimes i feel like i'm stuck in the biggest desert of my life right now. <i>how come none of my dreams are coming true?!? </i>but i'm reminded through the OT that just as he led the israelites through the desert, he leads, protects and provides for me too. and like the sudden floods that unexpectedly overtake our paths, he responds to my calls when i turn into mopeballz. and though it seems like barren land sometimes, i am well fed as i follow his voice. now back to my lady study. one particular verse made all that clear:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
i remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown. jeremiah 2:2</blockquote>
what is a person in love willing to do? <i>ANYTHING!</i> wholly devoted and eager to follow into the unknown. no money? no problem! no job? no problem! no home? no problemO!! as long as i got <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzW_7ANnHZI">you</a>! i dunno that i've known .love. but i may just as easily give up any sign of reluctance in the name of <i>like. </i><br />
<br />
so then if i am christ's bride and i love him, how much more willing should i be to follow wherever he leads - no matter how <i>unsown</i> the territory. <u>in love i enter</u> knowing he is the ancient of days, the same truths he promised to the israelites will stand for me today too. <i>nice!</i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
i will make rivers flow into barren heights and springs within the valleys. i will turn the desert into pools of water and parched grounds into springs. isaiah 41:18</blockquote>
and hey, who knows. maybe practicing following god into wilderness will help overcome my fear of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPg9GWBoL0">following</a> earthly men. but alas, another story for another day ;)deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-37590294300078337212012-10-12T00:09:00.000-07:002012-10-12T17:33:58.583-07:005 good thingspermission granted for you to give me a charlie horse when i'm being a baby and complaining my face off. so now that i have more than abundantly ranted you all into oblivion, i think i will take a few moments to reflect on the nicer things in life. <i>people are always grumbling that roses have thorns. i'm just glad thorns have roses.</i> philosophical quotations that precede a novel or chapter are really cool. they're even cooler when i actually understand what they're trying to get at ;)<br />
<br />
1. a dear friend whom i met when i first moved into this big house just told me about her engagement! when her first engagement many years ago ended fatally, she didn't think she'd be going through this again. there is hope after all!!<br />
<br />
2. one week, one bag of Thick & Crispy tortilla chips and i've finally reached the bottom of the bag where all the shards of broken chips and excess salt lie. this is what i originally opened up the bag for.. it's SO good. even if i can feel my lips shriveling up from all the salt.<br />
<br />
3. my old coworker just sent me an invitation to her baby shower.. this makes me unbelievably happy because her and her husband decided to adopt after many years of trying to have their own. doesn't that make you wanna melt? i melt. <br />
<br />
4. every week i get to meet with a bible study group that mainly consists of moms. i'm learning <i>so</i> much through the study it's so great. but mostly, i just want to be best friends with all these moms.<br />
<br />
5. i love where i'm living and i love that i can still have my lady friends over in the morning when all the pokemon have left the house. living here is a blessing for as long as it lasts =]<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
**i thought of another one!! i always feel really happy when i find homes for these stuffed friends i call my babies. ^___^ one is on it's way out and the second is waiting to meet her new human friend in a few weeks :D<br />
<br />deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-3003218291797527452012-10-09T22:47:00.000-07:002012-10-09T22:49:27.188-07:00the saga continues: introducing victreebel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
a new one moved into my house not too long ago. i call her victreebel. victreebel brushes her teeth in the shower and leaves toothpaste wherever there is level surface area.. towel rack, faucet, mirror, etc. i'm not really sure logistically though, how some of the blue goo got onto the toilet seat so i'll just leave it at that. she must take care of all her oral health business at once cuz i've noticed her used up floss swimming inside the toilet. maybe someone can confirm this for me: is floss flushable? victreebel also likes to leave hair on the shower wall. i dunno.. some people prolly just like to leave their DNA out for shares. these i can handle. but today, victreebel smeared some boogers on the shower wall next to her strands of DNA. i'm a little grossed out.deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-29200920204342451352012-10-02T01:06:00.004-07:002012-10-02T01:12:16.455-07:00no guts, no glory: the issue of trust<div>
when snorlax confronted me about my conditions for staying in this house, i mentally punched her in the face. repeatedly. partially because i was mad at her but admittedly, also because i was just mad and frustrated with life and god and this creaky old house and that anger needed to be directed somewhere. i spent the next week fuming over the injustice of it all and struggling with the discouragement of finding any other suitable place to live. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
all this time, i was thinking <i>how lame to be a christian right about now because all i want to do is fall in a puddle of despair but i can't because i </i>know<i> that god is my redeemer and he will direct my course from here on out</i>. why is it such a battle to get myself to truly come to peace with a fact that i believe with all my heart?! <i>i do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!!</i> mark 9 the problem is i can believe in christ, accept the truth that he is the son of god and receive eternal salvation - but fail to stand firm and maintain the belief and choose to find him trustworthy day to day. that day to day part is the retarded part that seemingly never gets easier. will i ever have a place to live? will i ever find a *friend*? will i ever have a schedule that doesn't force me to be a hermit? will i never have to deal with car problems again? will i ever get to have a real kitchen? will i always have to be so seemingly isolated from everything? blahblahblahhh stuff like that.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
there's a significant part of me that sincerely thinks all my troubles in the world would be solved if i were otherwise attached. but as that isn't the case, i needed to look at my other options. i considered moving to an apartment only to find that pet deposit for a bunny costs more than my liver and kidneys combined. i searched different pockets of sacramento for housing but found that sac gets really ghetto really fast. i looked into room shares and finding a housemate but realized i'm not the kind of <i>quiet tenant</i> people want. with my parent's blessing i looked into buying but found that my price range limits me to areas that require HOA and flood insurance. most rental or mortgage leads only resulted in sad faces and calculations that would leave me eating instant noodle more often than even i care to stand.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
reluctantly, i'm thinking maybe it's better to stay put. so far i've been timing my last bathroom trip to 10:55pm on the nose. i brush my teeth and make my way across the creaky floor and into bed before midnight. i cringe every time i'm obligated to step on the especially squeeky floorboard directly before my bed, trying my best to compensate the weight of my body with acrobatic moves to reduce the noise. weird, but sure is better than not knowing where i'm gonna live for the next several months, years, lightyears.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i still believe the story of my life is in god's possession but trusting him day to day, <i>moment by moment</i> as dear ray vanderlaan would <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdzhbv2eGxk&feature=share&list=PL07CCE4F9E31770C9">say</a>, is much harder. but you trust the shepherd for just enough and you trust that he is indeed, trustworthy. </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>god is not a man, that he should change his mind. does he speak and then not act? does he promise and not fulfill?</i> <i> </i>numbers 23</blockquote>
<div>
maybe it sounds like i'm not able to live freely in my own home. that's a pretty true and honest assumption.. but for now that's how it is and it'll be okay. i'm thankful that living freely in christ, while harder to grasp and come to terms with, is more satisfying and more.. freeing than anything else in my life right now. it's not to say i'm giving up because i'm still on the prowl for my perfect home. but until then, i'll follow weirdo rules and be content with many blessings beyond snorlax's control. and check this out, i no longer feel like punching snorlax when i see her :)</div>
deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-72949053380246131382012-10-01T15:17:00.000-07:002012-10-01T15:17:03.470-07:00party pooper<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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one of the dietitians i work with is a sweet 3rd generation chinese lady who frequently likes to chat with me about my (non-existent) asian-ness. after 5 years of gauging my interest, she's finally found that i know absolutely nothing about chinese traditions. shame shame. but she knows i like to read so she bought me a book called <a href="http://www.goodlucklife.com/">good luck life</a>, hoping i'd become more familiar with the practices of my kind. super sweet!<br />
<br />
this afternoon, having the day off and transportationally immobile cuz of my dino's broken left arm, i picked up the book and delve into my heritage. you ask, what have i learned? major crapballs of weirdo, that's what. hahaaa i sure hope none of you are into this stuff cuz you'll find much of my comments very offensive.<br />
<br />
being into pregnant moms and babies and all, i'll share about this portion of the book.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">don't eat bananas or your baby will have big ears. <i>ear size is genetic and if they're unusually large of misshapen he's got a genetic disorder.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">don't eat pineapples or your baby will have rough skin. <i> again, genetics are in play here.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">don't eat ginger or your baby will have extra fingers. <i>you should be more concerned whether you married your cousin.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">don't visit the zoo or your baby will look like a monkey. <i>if so, your husband prolly looks like a monkey too..</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">don't sew anything while pregnant or your baby will have a harelip. <i>aka cleft palate. lay off the booze and take your prenatal vitamins.</i></span><br />
<i><br /></i>
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these are just a few of the <i>don'ts</i> she instructs.. </div>
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<i>following childbirth, moms and babies are instructed to stay home for 30 days - without leaving the house, taking a shower, washing her hair, eating fresh fruit, or drinking cold beverages.</i> this is done to restore the <i>yin</i> and <i>yang</i> balance in your body to gain your full energy and strength after birth. mebbe i'm just too much of an independent modern woman with my own opinions but i'm gonna liken this to torture. can you imagine squeezing out blood and guts through your private parts and not be able to clean yourself for a month?!? common sense says when i don't shower, i feel gross and lose my appetite. especially after delivery, comprehensive nutrition is so crucial in building your body stores and supplying your nutrient needs to feed your baby. that includes a variety of foods, fresh fruit included. also, studies show that postpartum weightloss is most effective within the first 3 months of delivery. your hormones are all working together to help you accomplish this - so sitting at home for a month really does nothing for you. plus, i'm pretty sure having a stinky head does not do much in rekindling the romance with your husband..<br />
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i never really understood the purpose of the red egg/ginger party for the baby's one month anniversary other than that it's another chinese tradition to gaudily splash red stuff everywhere. here's the real story. way back then, infant mortality was common before a child reaches one month of age. in order to avoid going through this heartbreak, families were cautious about announcing the baby's birth to the public until they'd passed this milestone. traditionally, baby's were given a "fake" name during this time so that evil baby eating gods would be tricked from taking their baby. at one month, babies are given their first bath, first hair cut, and first new outfit (gross cuz babies typically barf on themselves every once in awhile). then, traditions say the grandma will take a peeled red egg and rub it all over the nekkid baby long life and good luck. the mom is supposed to eat ginger and blow ginger breath on her baby's head so it'll be nice and buddha-round.<br />
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couple things. the most common cause of infant mortality in the first month of life is genetic disorder or diarrheal disease. the first cause, though rare, is usually discovered before delivery. the second, is easily treated with a little sugar and salt water - or if you wanna be advanced and stuff, you can use pedialyte. i'd be stupid to say people shouldn't be aware of risks, but generally if you're watchful and careful you should be okay. as for the round head deal, i remember when chara was first born, she had a really cute cone head. the plates in an infant's head are not completely fused at birth because God decided this would make the birthing process more feasible. eventually, the plates will come together the way they're supposed to regardless of how you try to manipulate it. you should also know that that flat spot on the back of your head is not because your mom was smart and made sure you slept on your back to avoid SIDS. <span style="font-size: x-small;">there's a scientific reason for it but i can't remember.. will get back to you on this =]</span><br />
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i guess the moral of the story is, i'm proud of my ethnicity and all that kind of stuff. but some traditions are so rooted in superstition and old practices that are no longer relevant to the world we live in now. keeping the tradition may be important to some people but i feel like if they stem from a belief that contradicts what i believe about god's sovereignty and creation of things, i'd be okay leaving tradition behind.deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-88778809555899946732012-09-29T23:14:00.001-07:002012-09-29T23:14:05.284-07:00maybe it's me..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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mmm.. slow day at work. so i made myself a bunny friend!!<br />
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i'm pretty sure most people who know me and read this blog know how much i love bunnies. and the thought <i>has</i> occurred that maybe i love bunnies too much. i dunno.. could it be an impediment to my relational status? i mean, look at this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP4NMoJcFd4">girl</a>! my sad epiphany revealed just how similar i am to eharmony cat lady =/ <br />
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or i could go to a bunny <a href="http://hoppyhour.org/event-info/">mixer</a> where i might find people just like me.. :D heheheedeBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-76542870431417422222012-09-24T23:16:00.001-07:002012-09-24T23:28:48.982-07:00criteria update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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is it really true that a guys level of attractability can increase or decrease based on the car they drive? i dunno.. i used to be skeptical..<br />
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after my long biking <a href="http://goo.gl/maps/3lYnJ">trip</a> yesterday, i jumped into my car and sped down to marshalls before they closed to find a baby shower gift and bike shorts (more on that later). as many of my shopping experiences go, i found neither of those items and came out instead with another dress. another dress that, like my collection of shoes, will likely never see the light of day. ah welllll. <br />
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as i walked back to my car, i saw someone remote-unlock a FIAT right in front of me. for some odd reason, the person beeped the car more times than necessary to unlock it, which i found weird. but needless to say, the blinking headlights looked like they were winking at me! cuuuuute. [btw, use of this word shall not be limited to the female race and shall not demand reprimand if used by the <a href="http://rhuang86.blogspot.com/2012/09/new-member-part-i-catten.html">opposite</a> gender] i turned around to see who the lucky owner was and behold, nice looking guy :D without skipping a beat, i projected my voice in his direction and asked him how he liked driving his car. >____< ahhh <b>slap face/face palm</b> i've turned into <i>one of those</i> girls who are easily tricked by guys in cute cars!!!!!<br />
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good thing the cute-spawned adrenaline was still running through my veins and i stayed long enough to hear him say it was just a rental and it was a fun car to drive - then i remorsefully ran to my silver dino after realizing what i did. so i confess.. it's true. drive a cool car and i might, in a moment of brainwash, ask you for your number =/<br />
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but just to be certain, know that not all girls dig leetle european cutemobiles. one of my grad school classmates was into gigantic pickups. the bigger the better. so she <a href="http://blog.riptide-entertainment.net/2012/08/15/talk-about-a-barn-burner-of-a-day/">married</a> a cowboy and moved to texas ;)<br />
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<br />
now about biking. couple things i realized:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>i cannot control the massive amount of snot buildup in my nose. what is the best way to remedy this other than stuffing toilet paper?</li>
<li>if there is a snake stretched across the path and i can't cross into on-coming traffic, there's gonna be a lot of blood and guts</li>
<li>mebbe this is just in my head, but i feel like there's a hierarchy of bike-coolness on the paths. i don't think i made it onto the list. which means, i want a road bike and spandex. no.. yeah no, scratch the spandex</li>
<li>bikers in general are very friendly - even the highest ranking cool bikers</li>
<li>thank you parks & recreation department!! plus, i love the show</li>
<li>my cotton shorts, which make for awesome sleep shorts, don't do so well on the road for extended periods of time and sweat</li>
<li>bringing water is important. i should know this..</li>
<li>taking breaks will cause my leg muscles to die. next time, i will refrain from stopping</li>
</ul>
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deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-37540511851007416872012-09-18T00:58:00.001-07:002012-09-18T22:09:53.285-07:00Just so we're clear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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my deviousness is gonna get me kicked out but can you blame me pulling such an irresistibly passive aggressive love note?! how i wish snorlax can sleep undisturbed through the night..<br />
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<br />
**update:<br />
i'm a brat and i know it. i'm officially househunting. life starts now!!!</div>
deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-58800049090313665472012-09-16T19:41:00.002-07:002012-09-16T19:41:18.704-07:00the worst kind of heartache.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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there's a sad, remorsefully aching feeling that makes its way into my heart that feels something like crushing a snail underfoot whenever i finish a book. having spent hours growing a friendship with the endearing characters and spiting the antagonists as best as i can, i feel abandoned when the connection between us is severed by the hard back cover - offering no chance for them to cross over into reality and i don't know.. have tea with me. <br />
<br />
i'm just going to spend a few hours grieving and then maybe reread the book over again. <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I suppose I do have a suitor, but I'm not really used to him yet. He's terribly charming and he plies me with delicious meals, but I sometimes think I prefer suitors in books rather than right in front of me. How awful, backward, cowardly, and mentally warped that will be if it turns out to be true.</blockquote>
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>-The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society</i></div>
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maybe this is all in the name of character development since i was just writing about dealing with aloneness. beh to heck with that. i'm gonna proceed with my ceremonial moping. and to heck with the author for bequeathing so stingily before she passed away while writing her debut novel.</div>
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deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-17892930643044101412012-09-15T17:50:00.003-07:002012-09-15T18:38:25.841-07:00no guts, no glory: all by myselffffif for some cataclysmic incident my house caved into itself and the door to my room was blocked shut for a year before i could be rescued, i think i'd be okay. food wise, i have a large variety of instant noodle to keep me interested for a long time and my costco case of blood orange san pelligrino has yet to be opened. and i have enough things in my room to keep me merrily occupied for days on end. needless to say, solitary confinement comes easily, if not welcomed, for me <span style="font-size: x-small;">..sometimes</span><br />
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of course depending on where you lie on the introvert/extrovert scale, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq28UQmxDnw">alone time</a> might be more terrifying for some people than getting eaten by a shark. but here's what i've come to learn about this<i> uniquely magical time that singleness has to offer</i>. that hint of sarcasm should not go unnoticed. nevertheless, this alone time is a chance to find my identity - in myself and in christ.</div>
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in the counseling world, there's an important philosophy to healthy relationships that says each person should enter a union as a <i>whole</i> person rather than a <i>half</i> person looking to fill in the gaps through someone else.<br />
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in doing so, neither one can fulfill each others needs because they themselves are incomplete to begin with. i'm not talking about being perfect cuz none of us are; that's just the way the cookie crumbles. i'm thinking more along the lines of having a full grasp on your identity as a person - being confident in who you are, accepting your complete value in christ and being your own person. the tragedy comes when you look to another person to tell you who you are or to chameleonize yourself to match who you think the other person wants you to be. (and when i say <i>you</i> i really mean <i>me</i> because i've been completely guilty of this myself) result: great sadness. my hypothesis is that humans naturally crave identity - to know and be known. and it's a weirdly warped expectation to superimpose the pressure of obtaining this identity through someone or something else. i suck at math but i do know that 1/2 x 1/2 = 1/4.<br />
<br />
so what to do?! i think this is where time alone comes really handy especially when i have all the time in the world.<br />
<ul>
<li>i wake up in the morning and it's just me --> let's figure out what kinda music i dance best to</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>i'm home from work. again, it's just me --> explore different hobbies or cultivate ones i already have</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>weekend rolls around and the prospect of a free dinner is looking slim --> kidnap a lady friend, yelp something new and split dinner tab 50/50</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>vacation hours are piling up and i'm feeling cabin fever --> nowhere in the fineprint of groupon's romantic vacation deals for two say it needs to be fulfilled by 2 loveydoveys. </li>
</ul>
<br />
see where i'm going with this? obviously i still need to take a dose of my own medicine but it makes sense that instead of wasting time at home moping about the emptiness of my other half, time could be better spent <i>filling</i> that half with <i>ME stuff</i>! find out what i like and don't like, trailblaze hobbies of my own that are uniquely me, and create experiences for myself that add to the mosaic of who i am. then, god willing ;) if i ever meet some perfectly hunky dude, i can bring my whole self to match his whole self and live happily ever after.<br />
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ahemm moving forward.. last night at <a href="http://acaciafellowship.weebly.com/">acacia</a> we studied the life of elijah during his 3 years of exile where he had no life encounters except with a black bird twice a day and with the one and only holy god. what did he learn from his time alone? for once i enjoyed group discussion (jk :D ) and this is what we came up with: elijah grew in his faith and trust in god's promises through his experiences and in his persistence in proclaiming the power of god even when circumstances argued otherwise. i would then add that through this time, he grew a strong and rich identity in <i>who christ called him to be</i> so that when the day came to reveal God's glory in the test of gods, he had the boldness to deliver.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Then Elijah said to them, “I am the only one of the Lord’s prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets. Get two bulls for us. Let Baal’s prophets choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire - he is God.” 1 kings 18</blockquote>
<span class="text 1Kgs-18-24" id="en-NIV-9366">hollaaa how cool is that?? i believe god desires to grow us in our identity in him - as the theme of a bible study i'm going through goes; <i>to live a life free of anything that hinders us from the effective and abundant spirit-filled life god has planned for us. </i>okay, yada yada yada bible talk aside, what does that even look like?! i don't know. i think it's different for everyone. but it's worth exploring on your own and cultivating it in your magical time.</span><br />
<span class="text 1Kgs-18-24" id="en-NIV-9366"><br /></span>
<span class="text 1Kgs-18-24" id="en-NIV-9366">tangentially, i think it's possible that people who aren't fully okay with being on their own or have a clear idea of who they are make them to be the <i>needy</i> sort. eww shudder.</span><br />
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conclusive notes: don't be afraid of being alone. live life richly, fully and wholly. </div>
deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1196340163128815944.post-42022913262642756932012-09-10T20:20:00.004-07:002012-09-10T20:23:36.930-07:00no guts, no glory: stomach grumblelet's say your pet monkey eats a banana laden with poisonous banana slugs and keels over dead. instantly. i assume your reaction would be great torrential waves of sadness and misery. that would be expected. of which i would allot you about 5 to 7 weeks of grieving time for your deceased. and if you didn't deliver, i would seriously consider your mental status veering closer to the sociopath end of the spectrum. or you're a cylon.<br />
<br />
i've learned that in any season of life - particularly in a time of unattachment, you have to be real about your feelings, your desires. just like if you didn't feel any sort of sadness over the death of a beloved pet, it'd be kinda weird not to experience the soup of feelings related to singleness from time to time. so these feelings generally come from a desire to be otherwise attached. and unless you're not of the human species, there must be a reason for this desire other than general lameballz-ness. <br />
<br />
to put it another way, it's kinda like when your definition of breakfast is an extra large tumbler of (drip) coffee with cream and sugar. by noon time, you're sitting at your desk at work and the little man inside your stomach starts throwing a fit and making unpleasantly embarrassing gurgling sounds. why? cuz you're a fakie nutrition expert who failed to see the importance of maintaining your blood sugar levels thus causing a cascade of events leading to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borborygmus">mad</a> stomach. happens for a reason.<br />
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here's what i have to say about all that. i'm all about practical <a href="http://blacksheepmusings.blogspot.com/2012/08/how-to-get-girl-to-like-you-part-i.html">ways</a> to combat this issue which is very very important. but at the heart of the matter is well, where your hearts at. so to all the <a href="http://youtu.be/zqdzUf8z0Mw">single</a> ladies (i hate this song esp @ weddings), be real with your desire and the suckiness of of not attaining it - cuz it's legitimate. all of us have some sort of unfulfilled longing because life is just like that. but let it point you to the ultimate fulfilment that is in meeting with christ sooommmeeedaaayyyy. and most of the time i'm thinking hopefully sooner rather than later. but wouldn't it be cool if part of this heavenward-seeking gave us a drive to share with other people what all the hype is about going to heaven? so that when the day comes, i'm not on my own but standing in front of christ with friends and stuff.<br />
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so if singleness be the stomach grumbles that drives me to divine urgency, maybe that's okay =]deBOrahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04227201021840205476noreply@blogger.com1