Saturday, September 24, 2011

stand back: she bites

i live in a house shared by 9 other occupants.  thankfully the only thing i have to share with all of them is the laundry room.  conveniently located in the basement of the house, i rarely make the trip down into the depths of this old house.  i consider myself quite domestically accomplished if i complete a load of laundry a month.  two flights of stairs is no joke and i'd prefer to limit my stairmaster workout as much as possible.

recently, i've noticed that my bottle of purex complete crystals lavender blossom fabric softener has diminished from one entire bottle to little more than a quarter.  what the heck, right?  with my name clearly labeled in blue sharpie on the front of the bottle, i'd assume that people whose name is not deborah would steer clear of my blossomy crystals.  my instincts immediately tell me that someone is using my stuff and i am not thrilled.

you see, as awesome as my purex complete crystals are, don't look at me to share the awesome with you.  they're mine.  and yes, i'm gonna act like i'm in preschool and display complete possessive qualities over my stuff.  don't touch yo or else i'm gonna randomly choose someone else's detergent and pour it down the drain.

wow, you're kind of a jerk.

i think most personality quirks or habits have pointed origins - whether it's imprinting from childhood or past experiences.  i'm definitely captive of the influences of my own history.  living on my own for awhile, i've learned to be defensive, selfish, confident, territorial.. i've got some fighting skills.  in the jungle, you've got to look after your own livelihood after all.  otherwise, you fall prey to cheetahs or rhinoceros.

that sounds a lot like an excuse.

shore.  i wouldn't deny it.  but i think it just makes it that much harder for me to live peacefully among certain creatures.  it's like if someone took me from the wild and dropped me in a zoo exhibit with another hand-picked species of my own, i'd probably eat it in a second.  yomm.  fortunately for the sake of humanity, cannibalism isn't allowed in my part of town.  so i'm forced to adjust.  

i do hope that coercion isn't my primary mode of electing change.  it's funny that after squeezing philippians into my mental RAM, i'm wishing that i never encountered those words - so that i never have to face this battle of spirit and flesh.  it's so much easier to live unchrist-like sometimes.  
many as enemies of the cross of christ.  their destiny is destruction.  their god is their stomach and their glory is in their shame.  their minds are on worldly things.
consequences of that look pretty grim.  i guess the alternative is to be swayed into the decision to live in holiness - with christ as the example.  to learn to exemplify christ-like qualities despite my sin-dripped countenance..  i think i'm praying for a miracle from god to reformat my heart.

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