Tuesday, December 20, 2011

what kind of car are you?

the joys of car shopping continues.  it's interesting that the type of car you drive naturally becomes a sort of personal identifier to other people.  similar to how pet owners start to develop an uncanny resemblance to their pets.  like the chicken and egg dilemma, i can't figure out which comes first.  but whatever the case, i think it's the same with cars.  or at least the style of the car can tell you what kinda person he or she is.

so now that i get to start afresh, i'm wondering which car resembles who i am the most.  unfortunately more than a handful of people have suggested the VW bug.  can i just say.. really?!  REALLY?!?!?  i do not see that at all.  all it is is a small rolli polli little thing that's just trying way too hard to look moderately cute.  that is, unless...  you're talking about the pikachu bug.  then that's a whole different story ^__<  too bad the bug has such terrible ratings.

  and you think i'm joking..

i'm actually already quite set on one particular car.  if only everything else in life were this easy to choose..  but that's a whole other story for a whole other day =]

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

thoughts on sight


one thing i hate about hiking is that i get so tunnel visioned.  once i step out onto the dirt path, all my energy is devoted to making sure i see where my next step is going to land.  otherwise, i could be stepping into my own death via cheetah, grass snake or cliff edge.  i become so engrossed in this one crucial task that i forget about the rest of the stuff beyond my self-restricted field of vision.

i try to actively fight this tunnel vision syndrome (TVS), but i still can't help falling back into the downward gaze mode.  because what's immediately at stake is also the most easily preventable in real time.  of course, i could forget about where my feet are gonna land and just enjoy the view as it comes - that is why i go hiking to begin with anyways..  except that inevitably, a trip or toe-stub would bring me back to TVS.  even though consciously i still embrace the bigger picture, Perspective has such a devious way of whittling it back down to a small peephole.

life's kinda like that.  and it's so annoying.


ew weird.  that was so emo.

excellent discovery today:  i found out my new printer has a feature called ePrint.  which means i can email something directly to my printer from any computer or mobile device wherever i am, and have it print straight through my printer at home.  this printer gets a gold star.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

8 Ultimate Experiences



i came up with a list of really cool things to do in case boredom happens to wedge its way into my life. 

1.  treehouse vacation - wherever my family moved, me and my brother would find the perfect climbing tree on our lot and transform it into a.. well, tree.  we've never had a treehouse before but we'd tie things up on the branches, pretend we were spies, "sleep" in our "beds", etc.  basic small children activities.  i've always dreamed of living in a huge, elaborate treehouse.  who knew you could rent one like you would a hotel?!  i'd definitely choose this, bugs and all :D

2.  rent a vespa for a day - never traveled in france or italy before.  but i'm pretty certain the best way to do it is on a vespa.  of course if a trip to italy never happens, i suppose i could just buy one from caffe italia and tour the great city of davis..

3.  international book trade - small secret, i used to catalog all my books and make cardstock pockets on the inside cover to mimic my own library.  all my stuffed animals had their own library cards.  and then we'd sit around a read all day until my mom called me to take a bath or something.  of which i would ignore and then read some more.  i just discovered this website.  this could the beginning of something really cool.  down with the kindle!!  (unless it's a kindle fire)

4.  too many to choose from! - i'm kidding geez!  calm down.

5.  sewing classes - it looks like i know what i'm doing and i smile and pretend i'm a pro but my sewing skills are pretty elementary.  my technique really hasn't changed since the first time i made a dress for bearbear and mimi (both inanimate stuffed creatures).  when i consulted my sister, she dissuaded me from contacting one my blogger mom heroes to schedule a personal seminar  (does it make it any better that we're fb friends?)  behh  so sewing classes would do just fine.

6.  TED talks - i don't always have time or remember to check the TED site regularly, but when i do, there are some reaLLy awesome clips to digest.  even talks that i'm empathetic towards or disagree, i'm almost always blown away by the talents of the human race.  even cooler if i could attend one in person.

7.  house swap - one of my favorite movies is The Holiday.  the plot of the movie circulates around 2 woman's house swap experience; one in LA and one in a quaint little cottage in surrey.  i think rather than staying in a swanky hotel for vacation, it'd be so much more interesting to live in someone's home away from the usual tourist footpath.  the only trick would be to live somewhere appealing enough that someone would want to swap homes with me.  guess i'm moving into the rock ledges of the himalayas :D

8.  media intern - i say intern because i don't know if i could last in that type of work.  but i think i would love to be put in a small room with nothing but a pair or scissors and instructions to snip away at paper for the next window display.   if they don't pay me i'd probably be happy to eat glue or something.  no, that's a lie.


in the spirit of list-making, i also made a list of things i hope i never take for granted.

1.  god saves.  i dunno if god shaves, but saving is something i know he does.  also in pg's sermon this morning he talked about the weakness of our trust in god which stems from not recognizing or seeking his voice.  guilty.

2.  i got in trouble again.  and the anticipated reaction i got from my parents was completely opposite of what i'd imagined.  sometimes it's hard for me to figure out how they can still tease me and speak encouraging words to me, and they do it so effortlessly.  siiiigh  i feel like i suck at receiving this kinda love because i'm so undeserving.  my parents rock.

3.  never forget to put your seatbelt on.  and nestled behind the plate that lets you honk at other cars is an explosion of fluffiness that makes me wish i can thank its creator in person.

4. all my friends who've helped me out.  thank you <3


you know the part at the end of the incredibles movie where dash is in the car after their huge battle and he goes, "i loooove my family!!!" and then slumps backward into the seat.  that's how generally i feel about generally everything at this moment  =]

Thursday, December 8, 2011

simple rule

i remember in preschool for halloween, part of our class celebration was to make this huuuuuge 5 foot long subwich for snack.  every kid got to pitch in and help throughout the process of this gigantour sandwich making ordeal.  some kid got to lay on the mayo, another got to spread the lettuce shreds, etc.  as for me, i got to knife it!

for whatever reason, the teacher trusted me with the jack-o-lantern handled plastic knife and let me cut up the sandwich so that every kiddie got an equal piece.  the funny thing is, i remember another girl wanting to use the knife too cuz it was so cool.  but the teacher had to explain to her how she couldn't because she didn't know how to use a knife. (score for me!!) 

seems totally logical right?  you don't get to have it unless you know how to use it.

siigh.  i'm just gonna go ahead and revoke my driver's license from myself. 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

an exclusive photographic exhibit

but first things first.  these are the moments that inspired the creative expression of my inner thoughts.  i call it:

two good news and one bad.
by deborah lee
12.05.2011

1. my goldfish kite arrived in the mail today.  now i'm seeking the lord to provide a great and powerful wind that tears the mountains apart and shatters the rocks.

2. my camera has been fixed!  i was advised to read the manual to learn how to use it.  very good advice.  unfortunately the thought of starting in the beginning and learning the ins and outs of this thing intimidates me.  so for now, i'll just pretend like i know how to use it.  btw, did you know that shutters have a life expectancy?  every time i depress the shiny silver button and the iconic SLR shutter resounds, i feel like i've just sent my camera one click closer to death.  it's really very depressing.

3. my mom called me today and asked me what i wanted for christmas.  when i told her, she said absolutely no.  i'm not thrilled.


please kindly put your cellphone on silent and take a moment to enjoy my artistic endeavor.  







i love it, he looks so ferocious.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Shark.

I wish I could keep him.  Oh well.  May he be loved forever and have a full and sharkey life with someone else.






12/6/2011 update
sigh.  parting with sharkey is proving to be much harder than i'd anticipated.  currently sharkey is sprawled atop all the toys right outside my office window.  they'll soon be en route to the children's home in sac to meet their new destination.  i'm heartbroken.  i wish i weren't because he's presumably going into the safearms of some really cute girl kid and that's pretty neat.  but still, i get a little sad every time i pass by his fluffiness.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

hip-o-critical

Today some hipsters are so hip they refuse to use the word self-referentially and believe that anyone who does so is, well, hip-o-critical.
bahahahaaa  nevermind then 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

movie review: jane eyre (2011)


i picked up jane eyre from blockbuster express after work yesterday at safeway.  ahhhhh  it has set my heart aflutter!  i'm almost ready to put it among my list of favorite movies but i might have to watch it again to confirm.  but it's really good.  i'm not sure if i agree with the director's rendition of the story as it's not nearly as gothic and dark as the original book.  also, mr. rochester isn't nearly as fierce as i'd imagined.  but authenticity aside, i love the story :D  but to be sure, this is, in my opinion, the best adaptation of the book to date.

i think one of the biggest contributors to the greatness of a movie is the soundtrack.  this one was composed by non other than dario marianelli.  sounds familiar?  he created the music for pride and prejudice (2005), and who i'd compare to the likes of ennio morricone and hans zimmer.  swoooon.

now as soon as i finish writing my paper (yep, still writing), i'm gonna reread my 1943 copy of the book :D

Sunday, November 27, 2011

the kite runner





i bought a goldfish kite on a whim today.  i'm thinking it looks pretty sweet.  basically gonna be the coolest kite flyer ever when i bring this awesome punk out.  so here's hoping we get some of those crazy wind storms that pop by sacramento every year

:D

side note, has anyone else been swept up into these time-sensitive online shopping websites like fab and huckberry and hautelook?  amidst gilt and groupon, a lot of these kinds of sites have popped up all over the place and it's not good for la cuenta bancaria  =/  ..although the other day i bought a groupon for 10 blockbuster dvd rentals for only $4.  wheeee  any movie recommendations?

Friday, November 25, 2011

Woman up: an intro

This only became clear to me today. Unfortunately its only taken 26 years of life to brig me this life-altering perspective shift. Oh well, better sooner than later. Lesson learned today:

Woman up.

We hear a lot of talk about guys needing to man up, wear the pants, go for the kill, etc.  Especially on the ladies' side of the spectrum it's always the dude that needs to take a lesson in manhood and ditch the drama queen. We never fail to pull put our list of "should-be's" and "should-do's", expecting nothing but perfection in attitude, action and words.

So woman up? There's a couple things that this does not mean.  This isn't about manning up like the dudes. Or berating ourselves for "womanly" tendencies. This is about bringing to the table the same expections rightful to a being a woman. Learning what it means to treat guys well. To have right attitudes and actions towards men (and the rest of the world for that matter) that are fit for a woman.

Too often I think I operate behind the facade of .Christianity. or the obvious stereotype of a female ie. Hyper-emotional, mopey, pseudo-consoling, queen of excessive use of words, among many others. But in the end, not only are my actions detrimental to myself but more often the receiving party on the other end.

There are some things that I've come to understand regarding this matter and much more that I'm needing to learn. I think I'm gonna try and share those with dear blog here as they come so stay tuned. Any thoughts are welcome :)

Up there is a picture of my niece. She's just a baby so thus entitled to being nothing but an exquisitely cute one.  As for me, I gotta learn to take womanly matters into my own hands more seriously.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

how to be hipster.


so apparently this is what being hipster means.  behhh

i get that style isn't something you can force.  otherwise you get called a poser and that's not really what i'm going for.  but.. but..  i really wanna be hipster!!  and ride a fixie bike (i blame my brother for breaking his promise of getting me one).  i like vintage stuff.. i drink tea with milk.. my brain is addicted to coffee.. i like skinny jeans..  although as much as i've wanted hipster glasses, i tried some on at costco the other day and looked ridiculous. ok for the record, i think smoking is gross so that's not something i'd venture into. 

this post really has no substantial content.  i'm just ranting because i want to be hipster. 

happy thanksgiving everyone!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

stupid chair.


(btw, chair represented is not the chair i refer o in this post)


I finally figured out why I’m having such a hard time focusing on writing my thesis!  and interestingly enough, it has nothing to do with the world wide web.  for awhile I thought I was battling my addiction to facebook and my google reader, chock full o’ pretty blogs..  I mean, that’s not to say that I don’t still check my feeder every 3 minutes..  but the point is, the internet is not the main culprit here.  whew!

this chair that I’ve been sitting in for the last 3 years is to blame.  I’ve always known it to be excruciatingly uncomfortable but it never came to my attention that it would actually hinder my productivity.  of course on a normal day, high productivity is defined by the number of blogs I’ve starred or images I’ve pinned or episodes I’ve covered in one sitting.  all such activities done with the slight bit of guilt that I’m not wholly spending my time wisely – so the notion of an uncomfortable chair really only alleviates the remorse I feel.  knowing that I’m .suffering. through my actions eases the conscience.

not so when I’m trying to write a paper.  let me give you a little anatomy of the chair.  the honker weighs about 50 pounds and must be made of some prehistoric petrified wood.  its rigidity is fierce enough to punch back every time I sit down.  there are slopes and valleys in the chair that mimic a feeble effort to contour against one’s body, but in reality they’re just deceiving lies of a great seating experience up ahead.  all lies.  furthermore, the behemoth of a chair is so heavy that i cannot just scooch in and out of my desk without eliciting another bruise to my left knee.  so most of the time, i sit on my knees or cross-legged, hovering over my 10-inch netbook, feverishly typing away before getting up again to relieve my legs of numbness.

obviously a devil chair like this does not have the capacity to swivel.  let me just say, swivel chairs are by far the most intellectually stimulating contraptions.  everyone knows that a stagnant mind is of no use to anyone.  but, take a stagnant mind and put it on top of a swivel chair and you are creating kinetic activity both internally and externally.  pure genius.

anyways, this is why writing has been such an uphill battle these last few days.  i've since switched it out for an equally primeval cousin of the chair but hopefully this one will promote greater productivity than its predecessor.


Friday, November 18, 2011

Is retail therapy wrong?


What sounds better?

a.) Staring into pages and pages of tables and chi-square analysis that you can't decipher.. typing away at a paper that seems to have no end in sight.. trying to format sentences in active voice, using little to no modifying adjectives.. unfortunately research papers frown upon data analysis that is summarized in a single statement, "meh".

b.) Trying on new shoes?!?!?!

I choose B!!

Grad school has not disciplined me to become a more intellectual, critical thinking individual. 
meh.

But check out my new acquisition!!  Missoni heels!  A little research (ha  this kinda research I enjoy) revealed  that Missoni is pretty snazzy and their stuff sells for millions.  K, not millions but maybe a couple hundred.  Thankfully, for people like me who care for neither snazz nor brand, there's Target.  :D  And sometimes we get lucky when snazzy designers are sympathetic and share their work with the almighty Tar-zhay for a fraction of the price.  (And then there's me, who roams the clearance aisle for leftover pseudo-designer treasures!)  woohooo  Another addition to my collection of black heels that have yet to see the light of day!

This late purchase of mine has gotten me curious though.  I'm well aware of come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Praise God for giving us his son so that we can lay our burdens at the cross.  And I wonder how others who do not yet acknowledge Christ as their maker, deal with life-happenings.  It seems like living would feel so futile not being able to give credit for the blessings in life as well as find strength in the blessings-that-you-haven't-yet-discovered-to-be-blessings.

But even then, sometimes I feel like annoying perturbations call for some sort of physical manifestation in order for us to relieve the burden.  ie. punch a wall, talk it out, get a massage, consume ice cream, etc.  In my case, go buy something awesome.  (aiyah, sometimes I feel like I share too much of my junk on here).  Could it be that these instances of "acting out" are reflective of my inability to fully and completely find rest in Christ? Or that rather than submitting to Him, I knowingly take things into my own hands cuz it feels better.  (albeit, only temporarily).

Now that I'm completely on a roll in self-analyzing my hubristic tendencies..  I think it's also possible to have some sort of release of stress that is considered healthy.  That line would likely be determined by a combination of whether hurt is afflicted upon yourself or others as a result of however you choose to let your stress manifest, coupled with your willingness to submit your burdens to God.  Hurting yourself (including bank account) and stubbornness in finding freedom in Christ is probably not the way to go.

Pehh  it seems like I just analyzed my way into figuring out the solution to my issues  ;)  Next time I find myself in the aftermath of an awful day at work, I'll try to remember this..

I rarely get a comment on here but just in case you feel inclined to share..  in what ways do you deal with stress or frustrating situations?

---

interesting article here

Sunday, November 13, 2011

when psychological typology impedes upon grace

not being a trained therapist, i wouldn't know.  but i'm pretty sure my thoughts aren't suggestive of self-destruction or anything like that so don't start worrying.  i sometimes just get so tired of living the way i do - this constant battle of the mind, heart, and truth.  it's quite exhausting. 

it's kind of like the time i went ice skating with my roommates back in college around christmas time.  it wasn't my first time skating, but it was the first time i'd gone with a plan.  having grown up with michelle kwan and that skinny white girl whose name flees my mind at the moment, i knew exactly what i wanted to accomplish once we got to the rink.  i'd try a few double axels and maybe a couple of those spinny things where you spin in place forever.  i was sO excited to try out these moves.

we'd arrived at the K street skating rink in downtown sac, paid for our shoes and sat along the perimeter of the frozen oval under christmas light trellises and holiday music, lacing up our skates.  i remember thinking to myself, how hard could it be?  i'm pretty good at rollerblading so this should be cake.  unfortunately, as soon as we stepped onto the ice, my legs went awry, wobbling inside skates that fit as snuggly as an old man's dentures.  in less than 5 minutes, my level of anticipation and excitement took a nosedive into the cold cold ground.  my dreams had dashed away.  after about an hour of failed attempts, i got so frustrated that i was ready to leave asap.  not even the christmas music could keep me there.

i blame my INFP disposition for my propensity to dream high and wide.  it often gets me into trouble as i can't consciously rationalize the events surrounding me until it's too late - my mind being too high up in the clouds and my eyes too thickly glazed over with optimism of an alternate reality. 

scanning MBTI profiles, i always feel a little pride over the descriptions they label me.. creative, caring, peaceful, etc.  but i'd also be the first to tell you that it comes as a double-edged sword.  in a previous post, i quoted a fellow INFP who believes that despite her head-in-the-clouds trait, this is who god created her to be.  hmm  i struggle with this because sometimes i wish i were more level-headed.  that i weren't so dependent on other people's feelings or expect the same level of awesomeness in other people as i do myself.  (yeah, i really did just admit that =/ )  i battle with the consequences of my choices and end up feeling like a loser - frustrated with myself and the situations i find myself in.

over the last couple years, good counsel has helped me realize these things about myself and to better manage my tendencies.  but it still happens that when the fault of my personality type shows its ugly face, i feel sick all over again.  

for a long time, i'd look to paul for encouragement: 
now we know that if the earthly tent we line in is destroyed, we have a building from god, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.  meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothes with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked.  for while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.  now it is god who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.  1 corinthians 5

this morning, pastor gee talked about the sinful nature of man that came into being when adam and eve disobeyed god's one commandment in the garden.  it is because of the fall of man that we now deal with the consequences of sin today, in our every day life - even those intertwined within the web of our complex personality traits.  paul struggled with this as well.  i think he also found it to be very frustrating.  if only heaven would come sooner!  "i am torn between the two; i desire to depart and be with christ, which is better by far." phil 1  but until then, we gotta continue fighting.

i think this is where i got it all wrong.  i thought that wallowing in my own self-pity and finding companionship there with one of jesus' own apostles would be good enough.  and that it'd be okay to be a chronic mope-ster as long as i'd gotten verses to back me up. 

in pg's sermon outline this morning, point 3 states that god gave us the law to remind us how bad we are and how gracious god is.  this was kind of a light bulb for me.  so maybe in moping over my life and feeling sad about the sinful state of man, i'm really just not accepting god's grace, everything that he'd sacrificed through the cross.  for everything he's done for me, i've chosen not to accept it. and that's kinda lame of me.
what a wretched man i am!  who will rescue me from this body of death?  thanks be to god - through jesus christ our lord!  romans 7:24
a lifetime of sunday school and bible studies have taught me enough to know that god's redeeming blood covers all sins; not just the ones i think i can let him be responsible for.  this includes the all the weirdo-ness that stems from my personality.  

understanding all this is slightly comforting.  and ideally i could throw in my white flag right now and let him take on the battles from here on out.  but i never thought that god's grace is something that would be so hard for me to take.

Saturday, November 12, 2011


"i'm like a shark, i don't swim backwards."
~ Tom Haverford
Dept. Parks and Recreation
Pawnee, IN

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

just your regular old dreamer


I wonder if I'd be better off if I were a little more realistic, a little more practical.  I've tried to temper my idealism, I really have.  But I just can't shake my starry-eyed visions about life and everything it entails.  It's who I am, and I believe -- I don't say this lightly -- it's who I was made to be.
 ~Modern Mrs. Darcy

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


could a garden come up from this ground at all?

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

Thursday, October 20, 2011

drama queen


Nearly a year ago I watched a Taiwanese sitcom that completely weirdo me out.  Sitting in my most uncomfortable borrowed wooden chair with only a threadbare IKEA pillow shielding my butt from major bruising, I watched episode after episode of my own life reflected through these fictitious characters.  Some of it was hilarious.  Other parts mirrored a brutal honesty that I'd never share with the rest of the world. 

I hesitated to admit that I shared so many commonalities with this show because that would mean my life were nothing but a drama.  What an embarrassing thing to compare myself to! 

And as any Asian sitcom goes, the series ends with happiness and the promise of a blissful future.  Cue in the tears and commissaration.  Kidding.

Most recently I watched a movie that elicited the same feelings.  I've been in that eye-roll situation.. I've said enough is enough.. I've sat through those awkward encounters.. I've felt so alone in all this..

By wait a minute.. maybe I'm not so alone after all?  Plots like these cannot just come out of someone's imagination - creative as they might be. Something strikes a chord and I think its because of how true to life their characters are portrayed.  Sure Asian dramas are a little exaggerated, but the story and the feelings are still the same.

My conclusion is that maybe I'm not so crazy as I guiltily thought.  I'm in the midst of a time in my life when things are kind of bizarre.  And maybe that's expected and even shared among other people in my boat.  And while there's headache and trauma and fun and casualties in between, I'm inclined to believe that there's good that comes in the end.  So i'm not rolling end credits just yet.


Yes, I believe life is like a movie.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

right now, i am...



...sleepy because i woke up at 6:30am to get ready for church

...immensely happy because i got to play my glockenspiel with the worship team this morning

...frustrated because one side of my hair desperately needs to be manicured

...a little jealous of people who don't have to work on weekends

...grateful that i am in good health and can afford to eat cheeseburgers without guilt or remorse

...remembering that joy need not stem from present happiness

...wishing that expensive things weren't so expensive

...thankful that i can afford to live on my own with some to spare

...anxious that i cannot make out the feelings that are going on inside me into comprehensible thoughts or words

...playing music by gungor on repeat

...sad that i come to god with more requests and blame than thankfulness

...encouraged by the people who surround me who offer their lives as living examples

...discouraged by the prospect of making choices that only i can determine for myself

...excited that it's time for rainboots, umbrellas, scarves and dead leaves along the sidewalk

...wondering if maybe it'd be better if the rapture came sooner rather than later


how are you doing?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

stars are born to fill the night


Standing up from crags and clay
The peaks of earth
In full display
They break the lines
That break the sky
That’s full of life
Full of life

The chaos of creation’s dance
A tapestry, a symphony
Of life himself
Of love herself
It’s written in our very skin


All praises to the one who made it all
Who made it all
All praises to the one who made it all
And finds it beautiful

Soil is spilling life to life
Stars are born
To fill the night
The ocean’s score
The majesty
Of sculpted shore
Mystery

All praises to the one who made it all
Who made it all
All praises to the one who made it all
And finds it beautiful

Fearfully and wonderfully and beautifully made

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Media volume: Off


Due to extending circumstances and a busy schedule, I didn't get to go to the bathroom at work today. So first order of business after my walk home was to head straight for the small tiled room.

Thank goodness for 2 bathrooms up here cuz the first one (generally my preferred choice) was already occupied. It didn't take long though for me to pick up on a small tinkering sound streaming from the bathroom. Usually sounds don't perk up my ears as the bathroom iS a place for extraneous noises after all.

However this sound was different. As I stepped into bathroom #2, I realized that bathroom #1's occupant was busy playing what sounded like a video game! There was a distinctive background melody, the schwing! sound of a swinging sword, grunting ogre tones, etc. There's definitely a pretty epic battle going on atop the porcelain next door!

But then.. as weird as it is to have my business joined by musical accompaniment, I can't decide if I can really deem it bizarre and unconstitutional to the bill of rights one has when doing their thing.

Is it better to play with your phone in secrecy, keeping the volume muted? Or proudly showing off to your neighbors that you've completed 3 levels since you've sat down? Times are changing and smartphones and tablets are rolling out magazines and newspaper.  It just so happens that our new attractions come with volume control. What do you think?


You can see I'm feeling rather conflicted as I post this on silent mode.

Monday, October 10, 2011

decidedly rebellious.

it goes something like this:

i'm supposed to drink something warm when i'm feeling crampy.  what do i do?  go for a 16oz. cup of mr. pibb.  with ice.  twice.

i'm supposed to wear a hairnet in the kitchen.   i've chosen not to wear it defiantly after hours.  why?  i didn't blow dry my hair for 15 minutes into a poof just to let it die under the meshed hideousness.

i'm told to keep the music down in the car so as not to ruin my hearing.  except that i take "feeling the music" very literally.  plus, technology is getting pretty awesome.  hearing aids are gonna be the new ipad.


i'm wondering if these tendencies have more serious implications on my life choices than i care to admit.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Lessons from a bunny

Sometimes when I look at my bunny I think about god and how in his glory and majesty and power that has no rival, he'd create something so cute and fluffy as a bunny :)

Then.. to think that as he'd so lovingly created my bunny, he did so also, and with even more care, with me. 

And it doesn't stop there!  He loves me the way I love my bunny. (and more)  Basically this little guy has no worries in this world.  I love him, take care of him, and give him treats when he's being especially cute.  If I am to god as my bunny is to me, there's no reason to distrust, worry or fear while living under his arms.

:)


Monday, October 3, 2011

signs of the times


over these last recent years, there's been a lot of talk, secular and christian, about the end times.  usually they go unnoticed by me.. but sometimes, when the topic turns up in conversation, i realize i have nothing to say about it. the scope of my theological intelligence measures that of a peanut.  sure there are signs that can easily be doubled against biblical predictions ie. earthquakes and other such natural disasters.  but other than that, i dunno.

there are some signs that i cannot deny though.  not signs of the end times.. but signs of the holidays encroaching upon us!  let me list them to you in bullet point format.

  • big spoon's latest froyo flavor is non other than Pumpkin Spice.  YOM
  • my supervisors posted the holiday sign up sheet this afternoon.  and so the dilemma begins: work on a holiday and get paid bank.. or spend time with family?  >__<  bahahaha  jk.
  • walking home tonight, i smelled FIREPLACE!!  or whatever you call that smokey burn chimney smell.
  • i passed up my french landmarks pajama shorts tonight for my flannel moose pants :D
  • water is currently rising to boiling temperature as i type, before it is poured into my mug of hot cocoa powder
you see, it is quite evident from the combination of these signs that the holidays here!  

tomorrow, i hope to put up my christmas lights..

Saturday, September 24, 2011

stand back: she bites


i live in a house shared by 9 other occupants.  thankfully the only thing i have to share with all of them is the laundry room.  conveniently located in the basement of the house, i rarely make the trip down into the depths of this old house.  i consider myself quite domestically accomplished if i complete a load of laundry a month.  two flights of stairs is no joke and i'd prefer to limit my stairmaster workout as much as possible.

recently, i've noticed that my bottle of purex complete crystals lavender blossom fabric softener has diminished from one entire bottle to little more than a quarter.  what the heck, right?  with my name clearly labeled in blue sharpie on the front of the bottle, i'd assume that people whose name is not deborah would steer clear of my blossomy crystals.  my instincts immediately tell me that someone is using my stuff and i am not thrilled.

you see, as awesome as my purex complete crystals are, don't look at me to share the awesome with you.  they're mine.  and yes, i'm gonna act like i'm in preschool and display complete possessive qualities over my stuff.  don't touch yo or else i'm gonna randomly choose someone else's detergent and pour it down the drain.

wow, you're kind of a jerk.

i think most personality quirks or habits have pointed origins - whether it's imprinting from childhood or past experiences.  i'm definitely captive of the influences of my own history.  living on my own for awhile, i've learned to be defensive, selfish, confident, territorial.. i've got some fighting skills.  in the jungle, you've got to look after your own livelihood after all.  otherwise, you fall prey to cheetahs or rhinoceros.

that sounds a lot like an excuse.

shore.  i wouldn't deny it.  but i think it just makes it that much harder for me to live peacefully among certain creatures.  it's like if someone took me from the wild and dropped me in a zoo exhibit with another hand-picked species of my own, i'd probably eat it in a second.  yomm.  fortunately for the sake of humanity, cannibalism isn't allowed in my part of town.  so i'm forced to adjust.  

i do hope that coercion isn't my primary mode of electing change.  it's funny that after squeezing philippians into my mental RAM, i'm wishing that i never encountered those words - so that i never have to face this battle of spirit and flesh.  it's so much easier to live unchrist-like sometimes.  
many as enemies of the cross of christ.  their destiny is destruction.  their god is their stomach and their glory is in their shame.  their minds are on worldly things.
consequences of that look pretty grim.  i guess the alternative is to be swayed into the decision to live in holiness - with christ as the example.  to learn to exemplify christ-like qualities despite my sin-dripped countenance..  i think i'm praying for a miracle from god to reformat my heart.

Friday, September 16, 2011

i designed you to live in union with me.  this union does not negate who you are; it actually makes you more fully yourself.  when you try to live independently of me, you experience emptiness and dissatisfaction.  you may gain the whole world and yet lose everything that really counts.

find fulfillment through living close to me, yielding to my purposes for you.  though i may lead you along paths that feel alien to you, trust that i know what i am doing.  if you follow me wholeheartedly, you will discover facets of yourself that were previously hidden.  i know you intimately - far better than you know yourself.  in union with me, you are complete.  in closeness to me, you are transformed more and more into the one i designed you to be.

todas las palabras son verdaderas

Monday, September 12, 2011

Sunday, August 21, 2011

when i least deserve it


if you are returning to the lord with all your hearts, then rid yourself of the foreign gods and the ashtoreths and commit yourself to the lord and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the philistines.  so the israelites put away their baals and ashtoreths and served the lord only.  1 samuel 7

it's kind of like one time when i was about 5 helping my mom set the table for dinner.  i dropped an entire set of bowls on the ground and we ended up having to eat on plates for the next couple days until they were replaced.  despite fatal bowl tragedy, my mom never stopped letting me help her set the table.

grace is something i can define but am still trying to understand.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

airport love


oh dears.  it seems that amidst all the hustle and bustle of things around here, i've neglected this little blog of mine.  basically, about a million things have happened since my last story telling event.

most recently has been the send off of my dear mother to the great and magnificent SFO.  forgive me as i'm not a seasoned traveler under any comparison so my enthusiasm may seem a little out there.. but that place is sWeet!!  first, the roadways leading into the central building - most excellent and easy to navigate.  (as were all the roadways germinating outwards away from the airport and onto the freeway).  second, i did not get a chance to explore further, but there's a skytrain?!?  how much for a ride??  third, rows and rows of terminals giving people the possibility of landing themselves anywhere within one rotation of the earth's time.  four, automatic soap dispenser.  toilet, yes.  faucet, yes.  but soap dispenser?!  world class, yo.

this list could continue for quite some time before i run out of trivial details to dote on.  but then, i'd completely forget to mention the moral to this story that i'd come online to publish.

that up there is my mom.  yay mom!  to describe her in 10 words or less, she is the woman i hope to become.  shore, she has some interesting quirks and tendencies and such just as all of us do.  but mostly, i think i'd be okay if i inherited a fraction of her good qualities.

alright SFO, CNY 2012 - we will meet again!!!

Friday, July 29, 2011

story time


once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to have a princess of his own.  but she had to be a real princess.  he traveled all over the world to find one, but there was always something wrong.  he found plenty of princesses, but the prince could never be absolutely sure they were real princesses.  there was always something that wasn't quite right.  at last he returned home and was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly.

one evening a terrible storm blew up.  there was lightning and thunder and rain came down in torrents - i was frightening!  all at once there was a knock at the gate and the old king went out to open it.

standing outside was a princess.  what a sight she was our there in the storm!  she didn't look like a princess.  water was running down her hair and her clothes.  it wan in at the tips of her shoes and out at the heels.  still, she said she was a real princess.

"well, we shall soon see about that!" thought the old queen.  she didn't say anything, but she went into the bedroom, took off all the bedding and placed a pea on the bottom of the bed.  then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on top of the pea, and then twenty of the softest featherbeds on top of the mattresses.  that is where the princess had to sleep for the night.

in the morning they asked how she had slept. "oh, it was miserable!" said the princess.  "i hardly slept a wink all night!  goodness knows what was in the bed!  i was lying on something so hard that i am black and blue all over.  it's perfectly awful!"

then of course, they knew she was a real princess, because she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty featherbeds.  no one but a real princess could have such tender skin as that.

and so the prince took her as his wife, because now he knew he had a real princess.  the pea was put in a museum where it can still be seen, unless someone has taken it.

now how's that for a good story?

hans christian anderson

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

fallen words



katy perry came through the speakers last night while we were transferring patients and keeping up with diet orders when my new coworker asked me what kind of music i listen to.  

um. DUH.  i could start listing my head off.

but in that moment, there was a battle going on en mi cabeza.  should i tell her about my vast collection of hillsong cds in which i have each track memorized?  how i love rocking out to david crowder band in my car (esp track 13 of church music)?  how i used to choose 107.9 over klove, but now prefer scott and kelly in the morning any day?  or do i try and stay mainstream and tell her about taylor swift and sara bareilles and country songs that make me cry?  

what i came up with was this: "i listen to a bunch of different stuff."

LAME.

we're (i'm) so fickle sometimes.  i constantly wish that i can connect on a deeper level with my friends outside of acacia/church bubble.  i talk about it, i pray about it.. all that kinda spiritual stuff that makes me feel like i'm actively trying to make a difference in the spheres around me apart from my own personal walk.

but i shy away from connecting conversation with my faith because i feel like it would then require an explanation.  and with explanation comes fear that i won't say the right thing, or much worse, that i don't even know how to express this part of me that is so core to my existence.

last night i was reading:
the lord was with samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground.

in retrospect, my reply is what fell to the ground.  conversation ended there and we continued to file and answer patient phone calls.  what would it be like to let god take hold of my conversations?  if i truly let go of my own hesitations then maybe that's where he let's his words take flight.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

tortoise beats the hare, i hear.


my goodness.  i didn't realize there were training schedules like this for people running 10k races!  as you can see, i'm running a little behind.  meh hehe..  until now, i've only been going out to run as soon as i get home from work until it gets dark.  the window period for such to to take place is usually only about 20-30 minutes.  and seeing as yesterday was the longest day of the year, nights will only start ending sooner and sooner.  bah humbug.  what did i get myself into!?!?  maybe i'll just show up, grab my not-so-free tshirt and get frozen yogurt in nice air-conditioned store.  no electrolytes lost!  siiigh.

i invite you to witness the progression of my 10k training from now until july 16.  wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

so fresh and so clean!


I may have mentioned before how I sometimes write about completely random things to mask the stuff that's really going on in my life. This is no exception. What better way to break my month long blog fast than to tell you about my Scope Outlast long lasting mouthwash?!? Wheeeee :D

I bought this two pack on sale several months ago at Wal-Mart and never regretted the purchase. Buying stuff like mouthwash or toothpaste or peanut butter is always so tricky. The problem is, if you open it and decide you don't like it, there's really not much you can do other than suffer through the entire contents of the product until you finish it - which can takes weeks, of not a few months!

Happened with my vanilla flavored Listerine (yoock) and then with my Crest whitening rinse in fresh mint (that stuff burns). All together, I'm very happy with my Scope Outlast. It's super minty but not so much that you feel like your tongues being incinerated by the 13% emerald green alcohol. Yommmm. One swish in the morning and another after flossing at night and I'm good to go!

So there you have it. A wonderfully insightful look into one of the most mundane routines in the life of yours truly :)

Hehee welcome back blog!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

not mine



the saddest part about turning twenty six is that my pandora one that my brother signed me up for last year will expire.  no white hairs yet!  woohoo

and seeing as it's been a hot topic as of recent, i'll hop on the bandwagon and share my thoughts.  = ]  i'm now 1465 days closer to turning thirty (holy spicy guacamole!)  i'm sitting here trying to come up with a list of things to do before i hit three-oh, but i'm realizing that i'm a lot better at listing things that need to be done within the next 24 hours than i am filling the following years of my life with giant idea bubbles.  i just dunno..

all i can think of right now..

visit a real life hippo - i once begged my mom to take me to the fresno zoo to see their hippo.  all summer long she said she'd take me but we never got around to entering the zoo gates.  finally when she was ready to take me, we read that the hippo died.

run a 5k - really ambitious, i know.  but i think i can do it, so long as i quit planting my butt in front of my laptop when i come home from work.  i should also consider getting some running shoes and gym shorts..

learn to take better pictures - i love looking at pretty things.  half the blogs i follow are just pretty pictures and artsy fartsy design stuff.  i don't need high tech camera or anything (i already bought a fancy $3.99 camera app for my phone to take care of that) i think i just need to learn to have a good eye for framing the subject.

visit my favorite niece - (as much as i possibly can)  i'm determined to make her first word be "bo"  :D  plus she's just mega cute and i don't want to watch her grow up through youtube videos.

go swimming - my coworker bought me a pair of flippers for my birthday a few years ago and they're sO cool.  like swimming on auto-pilot.  they're most fun to use in a lake but i've only gotten a chance to do that once.  for awhile i was taking them to the racquet club but found it kinda embarrassing that the saggy old guys were swimming as fast as me without any fins.  meh.

eat better - cooking for one is kind of a pain.  but it shouldn't excuse me from eating frosted flakes for dinner.  i know better.  (although, for all the fortification that's going on with breakfast cereals, it's practically like eating a bowl of vitamins)

remember what i read - i read tons of great books.  unfortunately i always get really excited about what i'm reading and have a tendency to read straight through a book - not giving myself enough time to process the information.  that combined with my peanut brain equals nothing being solidified into my mental RAM.

hmm.  well, there you go.  that's my bucket list for now.  there's also things like marrying a hot guy traveling and living in a house with a real stovetop but those tend to be a little more nebulous and cloudy so i'm just not gonna go there  ^__<

trusting in creative hands

Sunday, April 10, 2011

get it together!



meh.  i'm so tired.   

my room is a mess, dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be taken care of and i think my bunny has been fasting for the last 2 days.  woops.

my coworker had convinced me that trader joe's jelly beans are the greatest so i bought a bag tonight hoping to eat them while watching the most recent episode of parenthood.  turns out, half of them are licorice.  yooooock.  and they're all a dark red color which makes them virtually indistinguishable from the blackberry flavor that is not too bad  =/  to make things worse, my internet connection is kapoooot.  i called at&t awhile ago to see if i could get a better deal on my internet.. now it seems i am paying $4 more per month and hulu streams at about 5 screens per minute.  what is going onnnnnn

happy news = i bought shawn mcdonald's cd back in my sophomore year of college.  and it's still good..   my youtube playlist is much easier than linking them out individually = ]

new week!  new joys!  here we goooo


Monday, April 4, 2011

bookshelf love.

Kindle edition: $9.87
Paperback: $10.19

Borders: $14.99

For a difference of 32 cents, I can have a paper copy to hold in my hands ..in 2 days. I love Amazon and no matter how sad I am to see bookstores close around me, I'm still inclined to buy with 1-click ordering. But Kindle version?! I thought it'd be significantly cheaper than its printed equal. I can't think that more people are choosing wirelessly-sent texts over the real thing.

Remember the part in beauty and the beast where he surprises belle with a room full of books? SO great. I'd fall in love with a beast too.
 ________________

what dr. mohler has to say about disappearing bookstores



Wednesday, March 30, 2011

snuffle bear says hi brenda



i think it's a girl thing.. to have weird obsession with pillows.  it's recently come to my attention that i have way too many pillows on my bed.  even though it's a gigumbus queen size bed with more room than i could possibly need, much of the surface area is occupied by my collection of pillows.  a little ridiculous - i find myself sleeping gingerly around my pillows in fear that i might accidentally push one over into the dark trenches between my bed and the wall.  last night i took three of the puffier ones out and found it to be a very liberating experience.

so out of the kindness of my heart, i'd like to donate my extra pillows to anyone who needs one.  any takers?  ^_<

secondly, this morning i turned on the tv to watch the news only to find that the only non-infomercial segment that airs this time of day is the view.  i used to watch it when lisa ling was one of the hosts many many years ago.  (go azn ppl!!)  surprisingly, barbara walters is still on the show.  she must be about 100 years old by now.  anyone else watch 20/20 every friday night when you were a kid?!

anyways, the topics on the show today nearly made me hurl.  (good thing i didn't cuz my breakfast was really good)  first topic on the show: 10 things mothers should never feel guilty about.  items ranged from choosing your work over your kids, lying to other moms about your kids, wanting to desert your kid after they puke all over you..  granted i have no idea what it's like to mother a small child but i hear it's not easy.  the problem with these discussions is that while they sympathize with women on the hardships with motherhood, they don't give them any sort of substantial encouragement on pressing on with their role.  instead, they tell women exactly what they want to hear, assure them that it's okay to feel selfish and justify their behavior.

topic two:  they hosted a lady who chose her career over her family and is now generating lots of heat over her decision.  this lady married her childhood sweetheart, decided she never wanted to have kids, but because of her husband, had 2 boys.  she later travels to japan for a couple months to write her book, comes back and decides she really doesn't want kids afterall, divorces her husband, and says her now 13 and 15 year old boys completely understand her decision to leave.  uhh.. i wouldn't be surprised if her boys fall into the 10+% of americans on antidepressants.  the hosts graciously thank her for being brave in offering an alternative view on the female role, seeing as they are sort of a woman empowerment segment, but it's really quite disturbing.

scary to think there are thousands of women at home right now watching this show and taking it all in.  ehh  oh well.  i get off my soapbox and get ready for work now.

pillows anyone?!?!


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

seasons are changing


High protein breakfast for my grueling workout commute to work. Starts with yogurt and granola and then a whole wheat English muffin with a fried egg, Italian style meatloaf and melted Toscano cheese. I would've had milk instead of orange juice but sometimes milk does funny things to my stomach.

I haven't filled out a job application in nearly 4 years.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

heaven's tree


started a new blog.  collaboratively this time  = ] 

this is how it came about:

mike sent an email out to sac small group about a book he'd recently picked up.  (i wonder what keywords he was searching to come across this book ^_< )

i was browsing the kindle store and found this book- "Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment" - it's the highest rated free kindle book on amazon. despite the title i downloaded and read the first chapter- it seems pretty good and applicable to both men and women. the good thing about a kindle book is that there's no cover, so if someone asks you what you're reading you can say "uhhhhhhh........ i'm reading about cars. isn't the subaru impreza STI amazing...." anyways, hope this helps someone. isn't it weird how we can be so blessed materially yet struggle with contentment?

it turns out osmond had read it as well.  osmond reads a lot.  he writes,

I realize that Christian men miss out on a lot of really good material if we ignore the things women  have written.  Calm My Anxious Heart is one of the best books I have read.  I have just about every page highlighted.  It is intensely God-honoring, practical, relevant, Biblically-based, and uplifting.  

we wanted to start an email thread where we can share our thoughts about the book but decided that email spamming everyone probably isn't the most effective route of communication.  so a blog was suggested.  wallaaaaah!  hope you all will visit it and see what's going on over there.

and don't forget to comment!!  ..you may have noticed, i'm very blog oriented.  or rather, my thoughts are more constructive in writing than in real-time dialogue.  i always thought it'd be cool if there was a place online for people to share their thoughts and other fun things they see/hear/learn every day - seeing as most of us are in front of a computer all day at work  hehe  anyways, love to hear from you :D

lemme know if you want to be a contributor too!


rain is good for:

* free car wash
* excellent conditions for wearing rainboots
* better crop yields for the season, which hopefully means lower produce prices =/
* excuse for a bad hair day
* cheeseball asian music

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

being good


Interesting.. having completed my 32-point parallel park job on I street (lightly tapping the pick up in front of me to squeeze into the space), I got out and thanked the Lord that no one was around to witness the event. As I stuck my hands into my pockets and bowed my hooded head against the wind, an older lady from behind me caught up with my pace to say she wanted to remind me to pay for parking, but then remembered that it's actually free after 6pm. So nice!

This is how the rest of brief meeting went down.

"Thanks for being so considerate! Have a good night!!"

"You too, dear. Be good. Don't be a bad girl. Remember your mom. Remember your mom!!"

"I will, thanks..."

My first thought.. where does she think I'm going?? I won't tell you ^_< Second thought, I called my mom this morning after a mild freak out moment while at work. Bah.

And finally, I thought.. this lady probably has in her mind that when your mom is on your conscience, then the possibility of committing any matters of mischief are out of question. Could be true.. maybe. But I was thinking, if not for God, what gives anyone any reason to be good?

Our current culture has adapted a morality by majority belief, which doesn't really answer the question since we as humans, are inherently flawed (or just sinful) and therefore cannot form the distinction between right and wrong on our own. Again, depends on what side of the boat you're on..

Surely you have heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by your deceitful desires, to be new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.  Ephesians 4

Thank you ssg :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

torn. over a toilet seat.

That was my doing. I almost wanted to add a follow up message saying something to the effect of ::your future wife will appreciate you even more:: but decided I'd rather not live with the fear of getting girl-slapped every time I leave my room.

I hold strongly to my statement that as a visiting guy, you should respect the lady's room and return it to its original condition upon completion of your business. No exceptions.

But I wonder.. would I have any grounds for argument when the home is shared between a guy and girl? On an all-female floor it seems pretty straight forward and logical that the seat remains down. But when the bathroom becomes equally shared between two people, what right do I have to demand that the seat always be down for me - just cuz that's how I like it?

The inconvenience of having to put the seat down is just the same for the opposing party. In fact now that I think about it, the guys have it really bad! Not only would he be putting the seat down after use, but prior to, he'd have to lift it to start! That's double seat lifting action!

I'm not ready to say that I feel bad for the guy just yet, but I'm starting to question my expectations. Such a dilemma! What do you all think?
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

Monday, March 14, 2011

ever feel completely useless?
well turns out, we are.
i hate watching the news but then i think, if i don't, i'm just being completely ignorant and made even more useless by not devoting at least a thought to people in need.  so i watch.  and my insides feel like they want to come out.

in new york on saturday, a tragic bus crash killed and injured all passengers aboard.  if not earthquake, then floods.  if not sickness, then accidents.  life is so delicate.  beautiful in its intricacies, but like a spider web, prone to destruction by the simple passing of lawn sprinklers.  why do i get a chance?



One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail
One thing I know that I believe
Through every blessing I receive
You are the only One that stays, You always stay

You never change, You're still the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed
Everlasting God
 keep talking to our father today..

Sunday, March 13, 2011

can't remember...


i frequently equate my memory capacity to that of a hamster -- and for good reason.  my short-term memory sucks.  meaning i usually find myself having to turn off my car, run back into the house and up the stairs to my room because i'd forgotten to grab the very reason why i was in the car in the first place.  i've come out of the grocery store with exactly what i didn't go in for.  i instantaneously lose my train of thought the moment it enters my head.  this list can get really long but i'll stop for the sake of not forgetting why i logged into my blog  >_< 

on wednesday this week, i'm going in for an MRI of my brain and i'm really excited.  i'm volunteering my noodles for someone's research at UCDMC, but mostly i just want to see what my brain looks like.  funny thing, when i was young i used to wish i could be diagnosed with a learning disability or some kind of brain abnormality.  i thought it'd be much easier to blame a neurological malfunction for having to try so much harder learning math compared to other kids. 

on the flip side, my long-term memory is kind of a super hero compared to its shorter counterpart.  it'd be nice if i could remember really important things like the sum total of 6 years worth of chinese school and maybe biochem.  but instead, i have this weird selective memory where the things that occupy precious space in my brain for years to come are mostly frivolous and trivial.  things like knowing apple juice gives kids diarrhea because of excess sorbitol =/  same with chewing lots of gum.

but i'm thinking maybe i can harness this super power of mine for good rather than letting it become a storehouse of extraneous facts.  anyone have any tips on how to voluntarily force things into my hippocampus?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

postcard from fairy land





Today I vacuumed, picked flowers, cooked, and read. And sometimes I'd devote a few moments to writing my paper and working on my stack of research approval forms.

And now it's lunch time and I'm back to reading ^____^

"How far have you got?" asked Curdie.

"I've got about the half away, but the other half is ever so much bigger."

"I don't think you will have to move the lower half.  Do you see the slab laid up against the wall?"

Irene looked, and felt about with her hands, and soon perceived the outlines of the slab.

"Yes," she answered, "I do."

"Then, I think," rejoined Curdie, "when you have cleared the slab about halfway down, or a bit more, I shall be able to push it over."

"I must follow my thread," returned Irene, "whatever I do."

"What do you mean?" exclaimed Curdie.  "You will see when you get out," answered the princess, and went on harder than ever.

But soon she was satisfied that what Curdie wanted done and what the thread wanted done were one and the same thing.  For she not only saw that by following the turns of the thread she had been clearing the face of the slab, but that, a little more than halfway down, the thread went through the chink between the slab and the wall into the place where Curdie was confined, so that she could not follow it until the slab was out of her way.  As soon as she found this, she said in a right joyous whisper:

"Now, Curdie, I think if you were to give a great push, the slab would tumble over."

"Stand quite clear of it, then," said Curdie, "and let me know when you are ready."

Irene got off the heap, and stood one side of it. "Now Curdie!" she cried.

Curdie gave a great rush with his shoulder against it.  Out tumbled the slab on the heap, and out crept Curdie over the top of it.

"You saved my life, Irene!" he whispered.

"Oh, Curdie, I'm so glad!  Let's get out of this horrid place as fast as we can."
The Princess and the Goblin, George MacDonald


Thursday, March 3, 2011

today we learn the alphabet



it is quite possible that i have the best brother on earth.
he gets me  ^___^  he also gives great advice.
also, why are pandas so freaking cute?


and something for your brain/heart to munch on this thursday evening:  (don't worry, to be fair there's an alphabet for both guys and girls)

If you're a woman dating someone or considering it, ask yourself, Is he:
  • A -- Accountable
  • B -- a Believer
  • C -- Courageous
  • D -- Discerning
  • E -- an Example for other, younger men
  • F -- Faithful
  • G -- Gentle, Generous
  • H -- Husbandlike
  • I -- an Initiator
  • J -- Just
  • K -- Kind
  • L -- a Leader
  • M -- Masculine
  • N -- Noble
  • O -- Obedient to God
  • P -- able to Provide
  • Q -- Quick-witted
  • R -- Resourceful
  • S -- a Sage
  • T -- Trustworthy
  • U -- Under Authority
  • V -- Vigorous
  • W -- a good Worker
  • X -- eXcellent in his efforts
  • Y -- Yearning for God
  • Z -- Zealous for righteousness

And not to forget, we ladies have much to strive for as well!
  • A -- Aware; of the big picture, of the world around her
  • B -- a Believer
  • C -- open to having Children
  • D -- Dignified
  • E -- Excellent in her pursuits
  • F -- Full of Faith
  • G -- Gracious
  • H -- Honorable
  • I -- Inventive
  • J -- Just
  • K -- Kind
  • L -- Loving
  • M -- Modest
  • N -- Noble
  • O -- Obedient to the authority in her life
  • P -- Pure
  • Q -- capable of being Quiet
  • R -- Resourceful
  • S -- Skilled, Stable
  • T -- Trustworthy
  • U -- Under Authority
  • V -- Victorious
  • W -- a Worshipper
  • X -- an eXample to others
  • Y -- Yearning for God
  • Z -- full of Zoe "life of God"

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


umm..  i don't really have much to say so you get another playlist.


Bruno Mars - Count On Me
Priscilla Ahn - Dream
Plain White Ts - Rhythm of Love
Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One
Hillsong - Bones


save the last one, i should probably stay away from songs like these..

Saturday, February 26, 2011

take me back



oh my goodness!  i never thought i'd see this ever again!  when i was in third grade, my teacher would take us outside to make maple syrup/molasses pops in the snow - just like the native iroquois indians did in the back countries of new york.  (this was before hepatitis b became a public health crisis and teachers could feed their kids anything without prior parental approval)  such fun memories!  of course ours never looked as good as these pictures, seeing as our motor development skills hadn't quite perfected themselves just yet. 

sacramento was supposed to get some snow this weekend.. but from the looks of it, no snowflake stands a chance under the sun today >_<  hard to remember the days when i'd have to bring a second pair of shoes to change into when we got to school, leaving our snowy boots in the cubbies outside the classroom, making snow forts during recess, letting out mittens and gloves dry on top of the heaters..  and best of all, watching the news every morning after a storm to see if our school was closed for the day ^____^

ever feel like you just want to get away?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

So impressed! I just got a package from my parents full of pineapple cakes and this yummy peanutty milky snack thing from taiwan. and on the bottom of the package, my jj lin cd!! Yeahhhh!

But it's not just a cd..first of all, the whole cd/dvd deal came with a sample of strain removing toothpaste. perfect!! Who would've thought that minty fresh breath would significantly enhance the listening experience? Taiwanese people are genius.

When I opened the case I was greeted by pop up card of jj lin rising out of a pool of flames. Very dramatic. American people just don't think of stuff like this. To top it of, the case insert also doubles as a poster of jj's face. I can't wait to clear out space on my wall to display it.

And for whatever reason, they've also included a photo book that narrates some sort of story in chinese that I have yet to decipher.

If you need me, I'll be eating my pineapple cakes, schmoozing to asian pop music and thinking about how cool it'd be to live in taiwan for the next few hours :)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4