Sunday, September 27, 2009

queen helene is coming to visit tonight.

it's nearly 8pm right now and it seems like the day should start winding down from here on out but i can't help but feel more stressed than i did when i woke up this morning. i have about a million more chapters of reading to get through before the end of the week, my room is a mess and my parents are coming to visit this weekend (yay!!), i have emails to reply that are long overdue, and just about 349857209 more things on my mind than i have room for. ahhh!!! what happened to the days when i could watch house marathons all night on the usa channel and spend hours working on a paint project?! meh.

..thank god for speaking through pandora amidst ringing phonelines and crashing pots and pans ^_< hahaa just kidding. i haven't heard this song in long time and was just reminded of how much i like it:

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.


despite having to work on weekends, i'm thankful for my job.
despite living away from family, i'm thankful for fellowship.
despite emerging stress pimples, i'm thankful for his love that says .every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

and if you've never tried queen helene's mint julep face mask, it does great things for pimples :D

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

the beginning of the rest of my lif.. 2 years

first day of [grad] school tomorrow!!

maybe i'm way too old for this but i miss the years when my mom would have to wake me up several times in the morning to get ready for school.. sometimes she'd lay out my clothes on my bed so i wouldn't even have to think about what i'm pulling over my head - or whether my top and bottom matched. in elementary school, me and my sister would pick out hair ties for my mom to put in our hair while we ate breakfast. and then, if we weren't being sent off to the bus stop, we'd be rolling into the minivan on our way to school. of course, if it were the beginning of the school year, our new backpacks would be filled with folders, notebooks, binder paper and sharpened pencils and a new box of crayons to stock my desk with. oh yes, and lunch. my mom always made my lunch for me :D

fast forward 15 years. first day of school.. i scrounged around my room for a blank notebook unused because i slept through most of the psych 1 class i'd originally intended it for. found a few pens and pencils and stuffed them into the front pocket of my backpack. lunch? ehh. i'll probably just stop at in n out before class. no back to school clothes shopping. no cute folders with smiley pikachus on the cover. no ride to school....

don't get me wrong - i'm sUper excited about going back to school.. in davis of all places! all the events that led to me getting the (emailed) acceptance letter to grad school has been a crazy god blessing in every single aspect. i really can't be any more happy = ] a part of me just misses being a stinky kid at home.. coming in and out of the house knowing my mom's always gonna be there.

rats. i believe this is what people call .homesickness.

nevertheless, SUPER excited for tomorrow!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

faith and salmon

i think this is an appropriate follow-up post to my (lack of) exercising entry:

last night after work, i decided to go pick up some salmon roulettes (sUper delicious with a great price) for dinner at trader joe's. (luckily i was able to find parking at the folsom blvd location before the slough of vehicles that followed closely behind me)

after entering the store, i made a straight beeline towards the frozen seafood section and grabbed 2 packs of salmon. ..not that they ever run out of anything, because that is the awesomeness that is TJs ^_< afterwards, i went to check out what frozen desserts i could potentially fortify my evening meal with when i was approached by this big beefy looking dude. at first i thought he was just gonna grab a box of mochi ice cream but instead he looked at me a little surprised and said, "heyy weren't you just at gold's gym??" oh mann.. i nearly died with surprise first of all because going to the gym is not something i would subject myself to. ever. and second, do i look like i go to the gym?! i have a coworker who calls me .veal. purely because of my lack of muscle tone. hahaa so instead of raising one eyebrow and saying ::what?! you kidding me?!!:: i laughed politely and mentioned that he'd mistaken me for someone else.

walking away, my first thought was dang, that was weird. later i decided it was probably the best compliment i could ever receive.. someone thinks i work out!! as ironic as that sounds, i like it. unfortunately, logic set in pretty quickly and realized that he probably just saw another asian girl and decided we were all the same person.


haha i guess i should also mention that due to craziness of schedule and other sorts of things i do, i haven't turned on my wii fit in about a month. >_<

another reason why i have no time for physical activity is due to the following:

people keep telling me to put these up for sale, which honestly doesn't sound too bad at this moment with tuition and all >_< but i think one of the reasons why i love making these little monster dudes is because i love giving them away.. i really wouldn't know how to put a price on them because the sum of all the materials is seriously less than $2. and for some people, relaxation and de-stressing means working out (HA), reading, doing laundry.. for me, it's making yards of fleece come alive = ] so... instead of setting up an etsy shop or self advertising, i think i'll just keep them for myself until someone worthy of monster possession comes along.

also... i've been thinking a lot more about missions lately.. maybe because it's been such a huge point at dccc and acacia this summer ^_< but really thinking about the little talents that god's blessed me with and how that all works in the whole scheme of matthew 28:16. i'm beginning to really believe that this mentality i have of what life should be like has so much been bent by a culture that has gone so far from what god originally set out for us. i mean, when someone can't stand to throw away food because of .starving kids in africa. do you really believe that? that child slavery and human trafficking occur across the ocean and maybe even in your neighboring city? that water is a scarcity elsewhere and something as common as diarrhea after mcdonald's can mean death for millions of individuals? a lot of times when i think about it really hard, i get really cynical and frustrated over why these terrible things exist. i mean, using john 9 to explain suffering really doesn't do it for me when innocence is sacrificed so crudely. how will god's glory be revealed in all this?? and yet we are called to continually serve the weak, and the poor, and the orphans, and the hungry.. with the spirit of god and the strength of his love.. that's big!

so what about wanting to finish a master's program or working a full time job or wanting to raise a family in a home with a super awesome kitchen? i don't think these are necessarily dreams that come solely from the american culture rather than a desire that god's implanted in me. the difference is how i live this life to give him all the glory. and that's how i started thinking of how i can also contribute to this global operation carrying out god's love to others. mm.. i don't have any answers right now but i'm getting more and more excited to see how god would reveal his heart to me.

where a little faith's enough to see mountains lift and move.
how cool is that?!