Thursday, July 26, 2012

if i had kids

i copied this from a blog i follow.  i think it'd be cooler and more relevant if i had kids.  but i don't, obviously so i'm not entirely sure why this piques my interest so much.  although sometimes i wonder, while i embrace my public school experience and the horror of being shunned from the cool group in the middle of seventh grade, i dunno if i would put my kids through that considering the state of kids these days.

i go back and forth between wanting to shelter my fictitious offspring from mean kids and the effects of puberty - or to throw them right into the community pool full of whatever crap kids leave in there and hope for the best.  i never thought this is what parents have to deal with and how potentially heartbreaking it can be to have your little angels get broken into the cruelty of our world.  psalm 82 says, all the foundations of the earth are shaken.  it doesn't take much effort to see the aftermath of sin around us and that sucks. i've heard people at my work say they wouldn't want to bring kids into a world like this.  and it's true.  the devil is behind a lot of the things that destroy our home here and he has minions (not the cute yellow cyclops kind) and all sorts of people doing his work for him.  but he's not the ultimate power.  god is.

i guess that's why they say parenting is the best way to bring people to christ.  because you need the sovereignty of god to make sure you're teaching your kiddies not to make out with guys before they turn 30 and to live holy and honoring lives for god. 

plghh  i'll stick to raising my bunny for now ^__^  anyways, the blog post i originally wanted to share:  ps. i love how she writes.  must take notes.


Tessa came home from school one day, (about 3 months in), and said to me: "Daddy, I want to be pretty too." She said it casually, not overly pouty or dramatic, sort of like the way a kid asks for a cookie or a juice box. How could this confident little girl actually be asking me this, I was truly stunned. I asked her what she meant by that, and she followed it up by saying: "pretty pink dress." I was pissed. She had just started school, was just two years old, just really starting to talk, and she was already made to feel inferior because she wasn't dressed like a ridiculous doll to go play on playgrounds and make macaroni art. I had no idea that this would happen at this age. Then again there wasn't anything I could do about it besides work really hard to make enough money so I could send her to a school where all the kids are referred to by number, wear genderless space age jumpsuits with tall boots, only color with earth tones, and play with a single wooden block that can be "anything they imagine it to be."

Tessa was in school now, two days a week, and surrounded by everything we had been avoiding here in our house, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. By the end of the year she was coming home and shouting with glee that she was a princess, and I would cry into Cole's neck at night about how I didn't do a good enough job of protecting her from it all. I admit I felt a little sheepish about straight up putting all the blame of this influence on the shoulders of her school, until she came home on the last day with a little adorable yearbook they had put together. They had placed single portraits of each child with a sweet little accompanying nickname next to them on the page, and when I turned to Tessa's page, there she was, wearing a tacky princess dress complete with a bullshit pageant smile, and right above her photo in big bold letters it read: "Princess Tessa."

My blood flash boiled, and then I melted like I had just snuck a peek into the Ark of the Covenant. What a mess.

Actually, I just barfed in my hands and then fainted 10 times before I started waving around this photographic evidence at Cole, shouting about how "I knew it all along!", THEY did this to her. All joking aside. I was sincerely bummed. I don't have any real anger left over about the school-- I immediately let go of it all. I had eyeballs and saw all the other little girls sitting on the swings with bows in their hair, buckles on their shoes, and wearing party dresses. Tessa absolutely looked different from them, I just didn't think she would care. I was wrong. I knew that the second you let your kids out the door (that includes into television land) every hand that comes in contact with them will influence them in some way, from her teachers and peers, to even ol' cheeky Peppa Pig. I guess I just didn't think at this age that she would start to feel inferior about her looks, I guess I should have asked the school, "so... do you dress the girls up in princess dresses and tell them how pretty they are when they are wearing gowns and crowns?!" because if I had asked that in the beginning and they said yes, Tessa would have been given a Doctors note to please excuse her from that one activity.

It's embarrassing and shitty to walk into a school and start barking about all the things you don't want your kids around. I can't imagine being a teacher today with all the different schools of thought about how things should and shouldn't be that are floating around. Seriously these people are heroes for what they put up with. All the sudden half their students are allergic to fucking peanut butter, the other half can't eat wheat, and then you have me with a list of toys and phrases I don't want said around my kid. Teachers are still trying to figure out how to keep cupcakes from hurting anyones feelings, they certainly aren't going to worry about their influence on gender roles and inferiority complexes. It's all a real shame.

It felt terrible to have to explain to Tessa that clothes aren't what makes a person beautiful, she was two years old. Talk about a blank stare. You can't get some thirty year olds to understand that concept. So we did our best to explain to her that dresses and shades of pink have nothing to do with beauty, all we can do is keep talking about it until she is older and can grasp larger concepts and ask detailed questions. We are smack dab in the middle of the "why" phase. Once that is over, I am hoping she will start to really understand some of the deeper meanings of these words we wield.

So whatever, it happened, and Cole and I decided the best thing to do was to just embrace the phase and plow through it, get it over with as quickly as possible. The compromise was that if she wanted to wear something soft and frilly it had to be balanced. So she started wearing a lot of ballerina skirts with muscle shirts. She could have her toenails painted, but not her fingernails. Stuff like that. She seems pretty happy about her situation, and I don't feel like she has been completely kidnapped by the Pink Posse. Her favorite thing to do is make her skirt twirl, we play princess with her when she wants, we even started her watching Game of Thrones so she could see what being a real Princess is really all about. (I'm kidding)

In the end, this was just a reminder about what my real job is at this point-- I'm a filter to her world, not a dictator. Cole and I are here to help our kids make sense of all of this life, and media, and relationships. On top of all the normal shit there is to deal with like boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, we have about 10 million media messages per half second aimed straight at our kids eyes and ears to combat, navigate, and explain. And if that wasn't enough already, we get to explain things like Bath Salts, and Incurable Gon-O-rrhea. Holy cow. It's time for a new handbook.

**The majority of this post is just me making fun of myself for being hypersensitive about things that in the end won't matter to Tessa if Cole and I just keep doing what we do. Please don't take it too seriously, I really didn't melt like the dude from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

sunday tradition

i'm hereby inaugurating a new tradition in the bo/charpie household.  since every other weekend (if not more) i'm forced to miss out on church lunch after service, i'm gonna start get my chinese fix on my own after work :D  soo brillianttttt

today i tried out may flower restaurant on L street.  never been there, never heard anything about it.. i just know its existence because it's within street view of pulling out of mcdonald's drive-thru >__<  yelp gives it 3.5 stars which might not seem like much but i'm pretty excited to dig in once my rice finishes cooking.

sizzling beef with green onions
tofu and vegetables


Friday, July 20, 2012

Hold on tight!!

I remember going to the Verizon store one time and a sales rep was telling me how common it is for people to come in wanting to replace their cellphone because they'd dropped it in the toilet. I'd thought to myself, that's impossible! Or at least it shouldn't be that common. Since then, I've been extra conscious of my cellphone when it enters the bathroom and here are a few situations I've discovered regarding splashing cellphones:

1.  Leaving the cellphone in pocket. Depending on the depth or shallowness of the pocket, the slick-backed phone can easily slide out when you sit down. Also notice that when you come to a sitting position, the drop of the pocket shifts from vertical to horizontal; thus allowing the phone to escape into the pool.

2.  Holding the phone as you fumble with pant paraphernalia. This includes belts, buckles, buttons and of course.. well.. removal of said pants. Like the probability of a motorcyclist getting into an accident, sooner or later it's bound to happen that you misjudge the dedicated grip you have on your phone and accidentally let go as you zip down your fly.

3.  Balancing the phone on the toilet paper dispenser. Some establishments are considerate enough to install dispensers with a flat bed for which to rest the cellphone before completing the business. (this is generally true of larger business that cater to high foot traffic as these dispensers usually require 2 large tp rolls). Other less gracious places have odd shaped plastic containers that require you to strategically place your phone so that it doesn't slide off.. in worst case, into the pool.

4.  Resting the phone on top of your legs.  Don't judge. You've done it too - where you comfortably lay the phone atop your leg to watch a YouTube video or read from your Android kindle. Problem is, one wrong move and ploiiink!

5.  Remember, one thing at a time. When you're done, put the cellphone down. You can resume after everythings cleaned up ;)


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

la familia de acacia

there's been a lot of action going on in our little acacia community.  i always feel so blessed when i think about this family i have here and the way each person has shaped me for the better.  last week anna left for socal and she shared this passage with us:
“In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”   ~C.S. Lewis

i really like that.  actually this post is just an excuse to save that quote so it doesn't get lost in the abyss of gmail inbox.    i love that in mutual effort to glorify god we come together to celebrate stuff like babies and people getting married or people moving on.  or just to eat dinner together, play music together, pray together.  that's really cool stuff =]

august is gonna be pretty fun.  jess and joe are sealing the deal and monica and henry are expecting small child.  whhhhhoooo's nexxxxxttt??  :D :D :D

Monday, July 16, 2012

Rolling with CPE Bach

in high school one of my IB electives was music.  i took it mostly because my shyness didn't allow for silliness like performance theater or dance.

i'm not sure how the normal high school classroom operates, but in IB we're taught to analyze everything.  in english that meant jane eyre's dress wasn't just blue because blue muslin was the cheapest fabric found in town.  nor was it because charlotte bronte thought it'd convey her character's plain-ness well.  no..  it's freaking blue to express the melancholy state of the life of an abandoned woman in love with a man who keeps his delirious wife locked up in the attic.  all the while she's being pursued by another man destined to make her his wife even though she cannot see him as more than a brother.  secondarily implying the crumbling destruction of gender roles and hierarchy of courtship rites in the social universe as reflected in the vast blueness of her eyes.  and maybe also something about knights fighting blue dragons in the distant land of celadon city.  that's why it's blue.  inference was always my english teacher's favorite word to throw around during class discussions.  you could basically make up any amount of bs and get away with a hundred participation points and an approving nod from the teacher.

oh right, i was talking about music.  IB music was just about the same.  we'd sit around listening to a piece of music, manuscript and red pen in hand - armed to completely tear up the music with critical analysis and lots of creative imagination to make sure we leave class with enough participation points.  [can you sense how much i hated participation points?!? plghhh]  at the end of senior year when we got ready to take our IB exams, the practice had been so ingrained in us that whether it be an oral or written, we could easily rant for pages and pages or speak miles on any given topic.  even in a foreign language. 

some things just don't change.  last night my friend played this piece for me on the piano.  my heart melted/died/seized and then the expository parallels began to flow.  except, instead of reflecting on how this song metaphorically conveys the alignment of jupiter and the 27th galaxy with the earth, i was thinking more how this song feels a lot like how i feel.  darn you ib program for crafting me into such a thinker!!  why can't i just sit and listen to how beautiful it is without delving into the way its intricate trills and voicing lines intertwine with the messes i get myself into.  or how the conversation between the right and left hand represent competing voices in my head trying to get me to make choices i don't want to.  how the brevity of the melody switching to G major in measure 21 is quickly reminded of its dreary nature before the line is over.

in the words of sherlock, "bullocks!!"

i'm wearing long flannel pajama pants because apparently the weather realized how ridiculous it was enveloping us all in sweltering heat yesterday, so it decided to slide the mercury down a few notches today.  dear weather, you kinda overshot.  it's freaking cold.  oh yeah, here are the highlights from yesterdays happy day =]

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

They have eyes

Yeeeck! I can't help but feel a little uneasy having toilet paper rolls stare at me while I go to the bathroom. It seems to be looking at me like I've done something wrong. Leave me be!!

Monday, July 9, 2012

let's begin again

pretty much for the last 9 years of my life i'd start a new journal sometime during july.  since it's now sometime during july, i'm finally taking a crack in my new one.  not much has changed since the first time i started journaling right before i started freshman year.  same place - in bed next to my favorite pillow in the world, same time - no earlier than 9pm, same pen - Pilot EasyTouch Fine Point, same heartpour.

for this years journal, i chose a nice dark, black number.  one because it looks cool and conveys a level of maturity that always seems to be beyond my reach and two, it mirrors very well my general state of emo-sity these days :D  is it just me or do other journalers feel overwhelmed and intimidated by so many empty pages?  in my weirdo psyche, i think i comes from an anxious anticipation of impending events that will eventually take literal form on those pages.  that scares me.  hahaa  oh dear..  i really should listen to my MFT sister and find myself a therapist.  or i could just stop thinking so hard =]

on lighter topics, currently
drink of choice: tazo organic iced green tea
snack of choice: hazelnut quadratini wafer squares  ..and maybe fritos too
mini series of choice: sherlock
gas station of choice: costco, always
shampoo of choice: pantene volume for thin hair  on sale!!!

Friday, July 6, 2012

morning glory

proof that doughnuts, instant noodle and m&ms aren't the only things inside my digestive tract!!

they say korean people eat kimchee with everything.  so i decided to put the adage to good use and try a little variation on my breakfast.

  • wheat toast
  • two fried eggs
  • mound of kim-7
yOm-O.  next up, topping for my ice cream?!?  :D

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

show me yo moves

summer is the season for weddings.  no..  not just summer.  my twenties seem to be the season for weddings.   as such, i've attended several of these joyous occasions - witnessing teary vow exchanges, restless ring-bearers, pretty decorations, witty speeches, yum-O food and dancing.  

i've seen some pretty smooth dancers, some spicy stuff going on, dancers who think they're hot stuff but really aren't, people who can't dance but tear up the floor having the time of their life.. the best part is everyone is happy and having fun.  whether the level of happiness has anything to do with the free food and open bar is up for debate.  but even so, wedding goers are generally in a pretty positive mood celebrating the bride and groom's happy day.  and happy people dance when ne-yo's smooth as butter voice hits the floor.

lemme just put it out there that i am no dancer.  in college i took funky street style hip hop at the experimental college and the only skill i gleaned from that experience was how to sweat like a redneck.  i wish i could pop and lock like a jabbawockee but those dreams come rarely and only when i've eaten a significant amount of ice cream before hitting the sack =/  the point is, i love to "dance" when i'm feeling happy or an especially good song rolls through pandora.  happens when i'm getting ready in the morning, driving through the causeway, at work under the glass windows of my office, etc.

where dancing doesn't happen though, is at church.  unless you're in high school and you got forced to go to summer camp where cool preppy teenagers perform body worship to lifehouse.  i guess it's the lame-O kids who go to high school prom and forever change the innocence of happy dancingand thus, no dancing at church cuz that's what heathens do.

sing to the lord a new song, his praise in the assembly of his faithful people.  let israel rejoice in their maker, let the people of zion be glad in their king.  let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp.  for the lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.  let his faithful people rejoice in his honor and sing for joy on their beds.  psalm 149

we actually do pretty well as a church according to this.  be play music.. we sing.. we rejoice and all that kinda stuff.  we even have the occasional tambourine, which is biblical.  but i sometimes wonder if the worship and singing portion of the church service could be a little more like a wedding party.  if anything, we could all use a little practice before we get to heaven where the disco ball never stops spinning.   and i believe there is a happy medium between clubbing and flag dancing.  there's also no excuse of being asian cuz.. it's obvious that azn pplz got movez.

i wonder myself.. that if making bacon and scrambled eggs can get me going in the morning, how much more would the king of kings, the one who gives me hope to wake up and face another day cause me to bust out some moves.  granted secular music almost always pwns CCM with better beats. But could our joy in christ pwn usher, chris brown and lil wayne combined?

oreo.. worship can take on a ton of different forms depending on each person's preference, comfort or premature development of arthritis.  if you can't dance, maybe you draw or write or stand with your arms held snugly against your sides.  god looks at your heart yada yada yada.  but if a cute bunny or winning sports play or driving base line or the sight of your significant other will cause us to shuffle your feet for joy, maybe we could dance in church too.

ps.  i clearly see that a glazed doughnut and mocha does not constitute as good dietary choices for dinner.  but it's so freaking good. 

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Backstreets back, alright!

Silver Dino aka Grimlock is back in commission! 

And so far he's gone 500+ miles with no sign of sickness.  I'm thankful for the internet, YouTube and friends for helping me fix him for less than 300 buckeroos.

Now.. what to do with the extra $3000 I had mentally set aside for car repairs?!?