Saturday, February 26, 2011

take me back

oh my goodness!  i never thought i'd see this ever again!  when i was in third grade, my teacher would take us outside to make maple syrup/molasses pops in the snow - just like the native iroquois indians did in the back countries of new york.  (this was before hepatitis b became a public health crisis and teachers could feed their kids anything without prior parental approval)  such fun memories!  of course ours never looked as good as these pictures, seeing as our motor development skills hadn't quite perfected themselves just yet. 

sacramento was supposed to get some snow this weekend.. but from the looks of it, no snowflake stands a chance under the sun today >_<  hard to remember the days when i'd have to bring a second pair of shoes to change into when we got to school, leaving our snowy boots in the cubbies outside the classroom, making snow forts during recess, letting out mittens and gloves dry on top of the heaters..  and best of all, watching the news every morning after a storm to see if our school was closed for the day ^____^

ever feel like you just want to get away?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

So impressed! I just got a package from my parents full of pineapple cakes and this yummy peanutty milky snack thing from taiwan. and on the bottom of the package, my jj lin cd!! Yeahhhh!

But it's not just a cd..first of all, the whole cd/dvd deal came with a sample of strain removing toothpaste. perfect!! Who would've thought that minty fresh breath would significantly enhance the listening experience? Taiwanese people are genius.

When I opened the case I was greeted by pop up card of jj lin rising out of a pool of flames. Very dramatic. American people just don't think of stuff like this. To top it of, the case insert also doubles as a poster of jj's face. I can't wait to clear out space on my wall to display it.

And for whatever reason, they've also included a photo book that narrates some sort of story in chinese that I have yet to decipher.

If you need me, I'll be eating my pineapple cakes, schmoozing to asian pop music and thinking about how cool it'd be to live in taiwan for the next few hours :)
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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

come away with me

eeh.. who's the debbie downer who's been posting all these emo schmemo monologues??  here's a little video just for fun = ]  i sped it up double time so you don't have to spend 10 minutes experiencing insane vertigo - let me know if there's a better way to do this.

if watching this makes you feel like throwing up, at least the music is good ^_<

Monday, February 21, 2011

start with step one

O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; nor do I involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me. O Israel, hope in the LORD. From this time forth and forever.

Ever read a verse and feel like you're reading it for the very first time?  Actually, this happens more often than I'm proud to say.  I blame my hamster memory for that..  and this one in particular, I blame the fact that Psalm 131 is only 3 verses and separated by a page flip in el biblio.  Whatever the case, I'm still trying to figure out what this little chunk all means in the scope of the madness that is inside me.  Within this twitter length Psalm is a command, a prayer, a comforting promise, and a call for deep conviction -- a bit much to take.  But I think in the end, it'll turn out okay  ..right?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

times up

could my mom have been right??  my mom has always likened the life of a woman to that of a blooming flower.  charming, isn't it?  more recently, she's let me know that i've advanced to the stage of having blossomed.  hooray!  but the compliment never lasts long.   

flowers bloom but not for long;
soon they will wither and die.

in other words, you're not getting any younger.

media coverage in the world of dating and marriage (christian or not) has churned out increasing numbers of articles and cover stories emphasizing the benefits of tying the knot before hitting 30.  people have done the research and published evidence that the likelihood of a having successful marriage is strongly related to marrying at a younger age. 

they've got it down to a science, it seems.  kinda like, drink milk and you'll be tall and play basketball like yao ming.  but in real life, you're just a lactose intolerant asian guy who's height potential is genetically predetermined.  so apparently the window period of obtaining a life of happiness and joy has been determined to be between 22 to 25shucks.  

on the flip side, i could find someone within that age range and cut the risks by 50%  ^_<

i'm encouraged that many writers don't solely focus on age but acknowledge that many other factors contribute to the success of marriage.  what do you think about this?

tangentially related..

as of late, i've felt that the subject of relationships and marriage has become a topic that most would rather side-step out of.  i wonder why.  i mean, i could very well be on my own here but i highly doubt it.  are people uncomfortable, embarrassed, awkward.. (believe me, it'll always be awkward regardless.  there's no other way)  what about the fear of turning this desire into an obsession, or worse yet, an idol.  or one of my favorites, being single allows you to wholly devote yourself to serving god - of which would be impossible if you were otherwise attached.  all perfectly legitimate arguments.  

but i can't help but think that this aversion towards a healthy discussion of something so present in our lives right now can only bring about an unhealthy attitude and approach to said topic.  by healthy discussion, i mean talking about your thoughts on getting to know someone, dating, worries, expectations, fears, excitement and hopes.. it's not about name dropping or matchmaking or complaining or hate-fest man bashing.  just talk. 

i have much more to say on the topic but i'll save it for another day.  i blame the month of february, the color pink, and the letter K for all these schmoozy posts.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

a father's heart

when i was 7 years old, like any second grade girl, i wanted a polly pocket so bad.  growing up, my family was never too big on toys.  there was the occasional hairless barbie from my older cousins and a few reject my little ponies - and it definitely didn't help that my older sister was not a fan of cute girly things.  so when it came to toys, i was on my own.

no one understood why i lovelovelove little hunks of plastic that come in every imaginable color.  why furry stuffed bears and bunnies and penguins were so precious to me.  why i'd lie in bed nights on end dreaming of having these things for myself.  and when i finally did, why i'd treasure them so much and believe that they were my very best friends.

no one except my dad.  leaving my mom and sister impatiently waiting at the front of toys r us, my dad bought me my very own polly pocket.  he was so happy to see me so happy and even played with me despite how is dad fingers completely dwarfed the 1/2 inch plastic figures. 

throughout the years, there were several more instances..  when the rest of my family was scratching their heads in disbelief, my dad was helping me set up my tomogotchi.  as my family was getting ready to leave the mall during closing time, my dad rushed in to grab the last furby baby just before the metal gates closed in.  even my collection of backstreet boys and nsync cds came from my dad. it's not like he ever spoiled me or caved in whenever something new and fuzzy caught my eye.  but i know that my dad would do anything within his power to see me happy.

far more reaching than toys, he never misses my calls or emails.  as busy as he is at work, he'd take the time to say hi or answer my silly questions like why some tires kick up more water than others when it rains.  if i were lost on the road he'd google map me back home.  if i were being bullied by other people he'd comfort me until my cellphone battery died.  and when my heart was broken he made sure i was plugged into the charger first and then listened to me cry for an hour.

in my life, there's nothing that comes close to the way my dad loves me and cares for me and is constantly thinking about and praying over me.  sometimes i get annoyed when he asks me what time i'll be at work and what time i'll be coming home.  or who i'm hanging out with.  or more specifically, who all those boys are in my pictures.  but i've realized that that is a father's heart.  and i'm so blessed to have a dad like mine.

having recently fallen in love with taiwan's newest pop star, jj lin, i emailed my dad today who's currently in taiwan with my mom to see if he could find me his cd.  within hours of sending the email, he responded saying he was somewhere called Far East 21 with my mom and to stay tuned.  shortly after he emailed me again to let me know they'd found it (hooray!) ..and that he doesn't approve of my taste in men, as he doesn't think the guy is too good looking.

sitting at my desk now after a day of ups and downs, i realize how silly i've been all this time.  today i thank god for graciously placing me in this amazing (like, you have no idea) family.  my brother and sister both spewed love on me at work when i was likely to break down at a moment's notice.  my parents, halfway around the world, set out on a mission for me hours before they climb back into a plane homeward bound.  and yet, here i am eating a cinnamon roll and being a poop.

but the word says:
if you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
matthew 7:11

pwned again.  the bible calls my dad evil.  evil!?!?  are you freaking kidding me?  my dad can sing like my furby!  but it's true.  we are all subject to the sinful nature of man - even my dad.  and if even my dad can know me and love me and desire only the best for me, how much greater is the love of my heavenly father for me.  

no one except my Dad.  sometimes it's a little harder for me to get it.  i can call my dad right now and by the grace of verizon's international cell phone service, he will pick up and unfailingly call me by my nickname at $4 a minute.  on the other hand, when i pray to my heavenly father, i hear the resounding tick of my wall clock and the sound of my bunny burrowing through my couch.  it's difficult then to believe that he sees my mounting pile of tissue paper.  but though it's a struggle, i believe his word to be true and the presence of his spirit to be real.  the answer to my prayers were given through my family and his word and i'm kicking and fighting to accept it, but i think that's okay.

afterall, how much more...

Monday, February 14, 2011

I love..

Good morning! It's Valentine's day :D  I woke up this morning hungry as always and thought, wouldn't it be lovely to make a cutey breakfast for the one I love today? I am a girl afterall. But then I realized Bob needed his breakfast so that bubble was quickly popped and I rushed downstairs to feed my old friend.

An hour later I came back.. still hungry. So I made myself something to eat, all the while thinking, might as well get some practice in while I've got the time ^_<

 Scrambled eggs always taste better when they're shaped like bunnies.

I will gladly eat bread crusts for the rest of my life if it means being able to make toasted hearts for you forever.

Hahahahaa  okay.  Enough silliness.  I'm going to work now  ^__^

Saturday, February 12, 2011

lovely to have my voice back

a short playlist at your disposal if you're ever sitting at your desk thinking, "if only i could listen to what she's listening to".  amazing isn't it?  it's like i can read your mind.  strange feeling to hear a song and in my weird and messed up psyche believe that it were written especially for me.  kidding....

wakeup starlight - one step away
jadon lavik - what if
jj lin - love & hope
nelly (sam tsui) - just a dream
adie - all i need is you
kari jobe - sweep me away
neyo (jason chen) - one in a million

and here's my request in return for your listening pleasure.  the weather is unbelievably perfect.  go enjoy it and remember to dedicate a few minutes of your fun to me while i sit inside my office.  thnx <3 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Pass me a cough drop please.

Class has gotten me thinking again as always.. But since I have less than 5 hours before I have to go to work, you'll just have to wait for the next episode of brain expulsion.

in terms of praises for the day, my voice finally returned after 5 freaking days. hooray. Although not completely..talking to patients all day didn't really help the state of my poor vocal chords.

I also learned that cheerios aren't really as great as they're advertised to be.
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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

streaming through my brain

when i first started driving, one of the most exciting things for me was to reprogram all the radio stations to my liking.  no more family talk radio or whatever those AM stations broadcast.. my presets would include all the hit stations with alternative and r&b and hiphop.  basically my presets determine my level of coolness among ..well, me.  however, i'd always leave one preset for the lone christian rock station.  only because that's what i should do..

i love worship music and there are specific christian artists where i could sing through their entire history of discography, but i've never been much of a fan of .christian rock.  i now realize it's probably because i never spent enough time listening to them to understand the words that were so thoughtfully penned.  instead, i was rocking out to eiffel 65's song blue, in which the lyrics, hands down, spoke leagues into my heart.

i'm blue da ba dee da ba die... 
i have a blue house with a blue window.
blue is the colour of all that I wear.

epically profound, agreed?

about a year ago, having scratched all my hillsong cd's, i started toggling between klove and air1 in my car to avoid the horror of skipping tracks.  admittedly, i was slightly unimpressed.  how can anyone dance to this?!  it's like all of mainstream music had excelled in musicality, leaving christian music behind in the dust.  i know now that i was completely oblivious.  have you listened to katy perry recently?  -___-

the more i listened to the station, the more i became familiar with the songs and come to like them ..a lot.  i still furrow my eyebrows sometimes at the commentaries and stories they tell on air, but mostly i'm completely humbled by the fact that god is indeed changing lives everywhere and i'm too stubborn and cynical to believe it.  and so when i heard a lady's experience about taking klove's 30 day challenge, i was once again shot down.

apparently klove hosted the 30 day challenge where each participant would only listen to klove music for 30 days straight.  nothing else.  according to this lady, angie's experience, it changed her life.  going from an embittered woman who found out she couldn't have her own biological children, to one who rejoiced at the circumstances god had placed her in.  my first reaction was O_o pah.  really?  yet as soon as my sardonic mind flipped into action, the words from psalms floated through.

sing to the lord a new song, sing to the lord all the earth
he put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our god
i will sing of your strength in the morning, i will sing of your love

doh.  that is far from what goes on in my mind these past few mornings.  at work we have our comcast station set on the hit list.  so everyday, for 8 hours, bruno mars and rihanna and co. stream into my mind at point blank.  even though i might not consciously pay attention to it or scribble down the words to memorize later, i attest to waking up with

cuz baby toniiiight, dj got us falling in love againnnn
so dance dance like it's the last last night of your life

perhaps popping and locking out the door is a good way to brave my morning walk to work but otherwise, maybe not such a good way to start the day.  i don't think i could commit to the 30 day challenge considering all the .noise. that's around me.  but that's just it, there's so much noise, and there's always going to be noise whether or not i choose to dial the radio to 89.9.  the evil that is battling for our hearts is not stupid.  in fact, he's rather crafty and amazingly good at what he does.  last week in small group we talked about what it's like to not fall in love with the things of this world during our days living on this earth.  at least for me, it's something i'd consciously have to think about.

submit yourselves then, to god.  resist the devil and he will flee from you.
come near to god and he will come near to you.  

is usher the devil?  is listening to .secular. music bad?  yeahh.. i don't know.  he's got some crazy talent.  but if it is obstructing my relationship with my heavenly father, as early as the time my first alarm goes off, then maybe there's something not quite right.  last sunday, mr. newton challenged us to make this our prayer - to know god more.  it's not quite as fancy and flashy as klove's 30 day challenge, but i think it's a good place to start.  afterall, he is my creator and loves me despite how bad i've messed up his creation that is me.

whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

now about klove's next great love song, i'd love to have a conversation with you about that!