Friday, August 31, 2012
in a world of honesty and complete trust, there'd be no reason why someone would want my address and the series of numbers separated by dashes that apparently determine the livelihood of my retirement. in a perfect world, i wouldn't have to constantly retrieve forgotten passwords/usernames/security questions/security answers/identifying image!! and i also wouldn't have to routinely come up with new passwords to replace old expired ones. there's only so many pokemon names after all..
siiigh. until then, maybe i'll start going through jesus' lineage of something.. like Zerubbabel,136 hahahaa
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
It occured to me tonight that I'd name my fake bamboo tree Jasper. If you know me, I'm highly unlikely to name inanimate objects. It doesn't make sense to me. People can have names, flying squirrels can have names.. but certainly not things like.. say a sock. (Stuffed animals being the exception because they come alive in my dreams). So I dunno what came over me but this felt right.
I can't say where the name came from as the only Jasper I know comes from the movie The Holiday. And even then, he plays a jerk which is upsetting given how cool my tree is. The movies so-so too. I used to place it among my top 10 selections but mostly I just like it cuz of the bomb soundtrack.
I'm also not even entirely sure that its a guy tree so if anyone knows the secret to identifying tree gender please let me know. Hopefully it doesn't require searching under the roots cuz those are firmly planted into a solid mass of plastic made to look like dirt.
Anyways, I just thought I'd introduce you all to my tree. Jasper, blog friends. Blog friends, Jasper. Great, we're all good here. Moving on!
..and my parents wonder why I'm still flying solo. Little do they know I spend my nights socializing and staging photoshoots with an artificial tree.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
the troubling thing is, because of my limited vocal range i'll never be able to fulfill my dreams of being an overnight sensation. the day's of firstname.lastname@example.org will never see the limelight of day and that realization made me really sad for about 2 minutes. enter epiphany. have you ever hear pitbull sing?! how about B.o.B.?? or tedashii of the christian variety?!
nope! they don't need to and for all i know, they probably have the vocal range of a muffin as well! but they rap like no momma's binness - and that's where i think come in. just gotta get the rhymes to come out nice and smooth and fast without choking on my own saliva. this could work :D i have high hopes.
Friday, August 10, 2012
short story short, i torpedo-crashed on my neck/back and it hasn't been the same since. people in my office who know about sports related injuries told me to wait 2 weeks and see if anythings changed. i waited. no change. at one point i went and got my very first massage evuhh with my little brother but that proved completely futile as every part of my back is ticklish and i couldn't stand the lady all over me. side note: omg the topic of massages truly deserves a blog post all to itself if i ever get around to it =/ my skull however, very much enjoys a head rub so that was cool. since i'm scared of chiropractors, i've just endured the spazzoid discomfort, hoping that at some point an evasive little bubble in my back might just fizzle out kinda like the way knuckles pop.
a few days ago, i had the brilliant idea of getting myself a back brace to see if that'd fix anything. ..actually the brilliant idea can in tow while i shortcut through the geriatric/orthopedic aisle at walmart. go figure =/ anyways, i scanned the barcode, thanked amazon for a better price and here i am, back braced. i thought i'd share my thoughts on this important milestone because this is what i do.
- wearing a back brace means i get fuller faster. consequently, it also means i get hungry a lot. it follows a bit of a vicious cycle. i eat, i get full. 30 minutes later, i'm starving and eat but still can't manage to squeeze any more food into my stomach as it's backed up from the jejunum up. compression has been great on my back but not so much the digestive tract.
- i had reconsidered getting a new bed (which i really should have done 5 years ago but whatevs) every morning i wake up sore and unable to do 90° twists from side to side without making an awfully unattractive grimacing face. good thing bunny doesn't judge and loves me all the same. i was a little apprehensive about the quality of my sleeps wearing the back brace overnight, but i've since had no problems.
- under my work clothes, i feel like a big hefty home depot hunk ready to lift lumber and granite slabs and maneuver 20 ton palettes of steel beams on a forklift. it's very empowering.
- sometimes when i'm walking around with my back all stiff and held in place i feel a sudden urge to do the robot dance. especially when songs like super bass come on. slight inconvenience when i'm trying to play it cool at work. but again, whatevs. boom badoom boom boom badoom boom boom supah basss
- so this is what i feels like to wear a corset. not bad. if only it looked like a really awesome ball gown a la taylor swift's love story instead of black velcro, that'd seal the deal for me. i can see why these were all the rage back in mozart time. corsets have a way of, how should i put it, accentuating the loveliness that is exclusive to the ladies ;)
- the back support is formed by steel springs that conform to the curvature of my lower back. aka bullet proof vest. you just try and punch me in the back and we'll see who comes out victorious.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
This is also when i start thinking about the (+) and (-) of moving. I've learned that in making lists, it's not about the ratio of pros to cons that determine the decision. The numerical sum of rational justifications is generally outweighed by the importance of each individual item is. That said, list making is not easy! I sometimes wish magic 8-balls and origami fortune tellers never went out of style in middle school. Could come in handy for a variety of situations if you know what i mean.
Ultimate decision: I think i'm gonna stay put for now. Again. Poor bunny's gonna keep getting chunkier for lack of room to run =/ and maybe someday I'll have saved enough money to buy a trailer home and hang out in slatter's court.
Question: Is it true that it's a misnomer that couples need their own time and consequently let go of friendly connections as a natural response to that? Admittedly, I totally think this of coupley people I know. ie. i'll never get to spend time with them anymore because they're otherwise occupied. But I'm realizing that this is a misconception I (and many others too I think) have and unfortunately coupley's may suffer from reverse exclusivity because of it. Huh!