Wednesday, February 16, 2011

times up

could my mom have been right??  my mom has always likened the life of a woman to that of a blooming flower.  charming, isn't it?  more recently, she's let me know that i've advanced to the stage of having blossomed.  hooray!  but the compliment never lasts long.   

flowers bloom but not for long;
soon they will wither and die.

in other words, you're not getting any younger.

media coverage in the world of dating and marriage (christian or not) has churned out increasing numbers of articles and cover stories emphasizing the benefits of tying the knot before hitting 30.  people have done the research and published evidence that the likelihood of a having successful marriage is strongly related to marrying at a younger age. 

they've got it down to a science, it seems.  kinda like, drink milk and you'll be tall and play basketball like yao ming.  but in real life, you're just a lactose intolerant asian guy who's height potential is genetically predetermined.  so apparently the window period of obtaining a life of happiness and joy has been determined to be between 22 to 25shucks.  

on the flip side, i could find someone within that age range and cut the risks by 50%  ^_<

i'm encouraged that many writers don't solely focus on age but acknowledge that many other factors contribute to the success of marriage.  what do you think about this?

tangentially related..

as of late, i've felt that the subject of relationships and marriage has become a topic that most would rather side-step out of.  i wonder why.  i mean, i could very well be on my own here but i highly doubt it.  are people uncomfortable, embarrassed, awkward.. (believe me, it'll always be awkward regardless.  there's no other way)  what about the fear of turning this desire into an obsession, or worse yet, an idol.  or one of my favorites, being single allows you to wholly devote yourself to serving god - of which would be impossible if you were otherwise attached.  all perfectly legitimate arguments.  

but i can't help but think that this aversion towards a healthy discussion of something so present in our lives right now can only bring about an unhealthy attitude and approach to said topic.  by healthy discussion, i mean talking about your thoughts on getting to know someone, dating, worries, expectations, fears, excitement and hopes.. it's not about name dropping or matchmaking or complaining or hate-fest man bashing.  just talk. 

i have much more to say on the topic but i'll save it for another day.  i blame the month of february, the color pink, and the letter K for all these schmoozy posts.


  1. Young singles won't talk about it, coz they don't want to be viewed as someone obsessed by dating and marriage.

    Young couples won't talk about it, coz they are probably working on their own issues, hoping things will work out. They have nothing to teach or discuss at this stage yet.

    Older singles won't talk about it, coz it looks like they are desperate, doing stuff out of personal agenda.

    Older couples won't talk about it, coz they are probably busy with their own responsibilities. After all, they got married, so they believe you could manage to do so as well.

    Just my observations.

  2. when i wasnt dating, i didnt like talking about dating because i was supposed to be established, unwavering, not desperate, climbing the corporate ladder having a tech filled bachelors pad accented with aluminum, driving a shiny black bmw, wearing high fashion pleated slacks and wrinkle-free-french-cuffed-with-cuff-links fitted shirts everywhere i go (who told me all of this?). yea its unhealthy to not talk about it, just like it is to never potty train your kiddo. i would gladly talk about it now dating or not!

  3. 22-25?? wth? sighhh.

    that is all.

  4. I'd always read the opposite. That the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to divorce.

    Here's something else to consider. A woman's chance of being married is inversely correlated with her IQ, while a man's chance is positively correlated......