Friday, May 11, 2012

who likes spam?!

i always feel so disappointed when i hear a really catchy song on our internet radio at work and then go to find the lyrics are ridiculous.  it's like anticipating the most delicious cheeseburger of a lifetime, but in that first gigantic bite, you find out it's completely made of spam.  blyooook.  here are a few examples of spam filled lyrics:

fun - we are young
Give me a second I need to get my story straight  
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State 
My lover she's waiting for me just across the bar 
My seats been taken by some sunglasses asking 'bout a scar and 
I know I gave it to you months ago I know you're trying to forget  
But between the drinks and subtle things the holes in my apologies  
You know I'm trying hard to take it back  
So if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down 
I'll carry you home tonight

wait, what?!  you beat a girl and gave her a scar to remember for memory's sake and now you're hoping a lame-O apology will have her back in your arms??  unless i've got the concept of a love story wrong, this doesn't really make my heart swoon.  waste of a really catchy bridge..

lady antebellum - need you now
Another shot of whiskey, cant stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

Its a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I dont know how I can do without, I just need you now.

oh yeah that's sweet.  you're drunk.  please go sleep it off and then we'll talk.  maybe.  i guess i can see why this is cute though..  it's country music afterall.  the guy could have just as easily been singing about missing his '84 vintage pickup truck or his stolen rifle.  but instead he's missing his girl.  real cute..  (although i confess, i'm secretly in love with this song..)

train - drive by
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by
Just a shy guy looking for a two-ply
Hefty bag to hold my love
When you move me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me
Mmm the way you do me
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by

what is this!?  my costco edition hefty bags are usually filled with coffee grounds, fruit peels and bunny poop.  i reject any guy who vows to hold my love in the same receptacle as bunny poop (no offense to the bunny).  end of story.

bruno mars - marry you
Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go
No one will know
Come on girl
Who cares if we're trashed got a pocket full of cash we can blow
Shots of patron
And it's on girl

I'll go get a ring let the choir bells sing like oooh
So whatcha wanna do?
Let's just run girl

If we wake up and you wanna break up that's cool
No, I won't blame you
It was fun girl

Cause it's a beautiful nigh
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby I think I wanna marry you

yes, we've all had our moments where we wish the question would be popped sooner rather than later.  (oh.. no? hrmm.. nvm)  but friends, this is not the way to do it.  nothing about these lyrics send my fairytale heart into a flutter.  guess the only redeeming quality is the dancability of the the tune :D

maybe tomorrow i'll come up with a list of more appropriate love songs ;)


  1. Selena Gomez??? :( :( I don't think her love song is any better

  2. I agree, a lot of popular songs these days have lyrics that, when you listen closely, reminds you that the cultural morale is moving downward...but i like bruno mars' marry you tune though =P