this was really funny to me.. in addition to the wealth of articles written about everything love, life and theology for young adults, boundless also runs a blog with shorter thought provoking exposés. having followed this website since my freshman year in college, i sometimes feel like i've read just about everything there is to read about life as a young adult. unfortunately these days i'm just a little bit less than ecstatic about every new article. yes, even the relationship ones.
browsing through my reader at work this afternoon, i found this short blog post very interesting.. written by the intern-turned editor/producer of boundless (and of single status), martha writes:
I hate to admit my insecurities, but today I'm going to do just that. What is it, you ask? Cooking.
You see, I think I like it, and I want to like it. But I don't do it very often.
Cooking for a household of one often involves boiling a pot of water and popping open a jar of pasta sauce. Or washing and slicing an apple, and spooning out a heap of peanut butter for dipping. On a good day, I'll microwave a bowl of soup and maybe have a salad, bread or fruit on the side. Simplicity rules the day.
So you can imagine my discomfort when a person, especially one of the opposite sex, asks me, "Do you like to cook?" I feel like I will either pass or fail his Future Spouse Check List with my answer.
To say, "Oh, yes, I found this yummy new cereal that tastes great with sliced fresh strawberries" is likely an automatic fail. To pass, I imagine the correct answer to be, "Yes! In fact, last night I grilled a fantastic steak and had the most delicious side of garlic mashed potatoes, finished with a dessert of triple-layer, double chocolate cake."
But what single woman has the time or the desire to cook like that on a regular basis? I know I don't.
Growing up, my mom did all of the cooking. I anticipate happily fulfilling that role in marriage, but at the same time, I'm not convinced I have the ability to do it well — certainly not without a lot more practice.
Can you relate? Maybe it's not food, but is there something else you fear you won't do well in marriage? Where does your fear stem from?
but is was the ensuing comments that generated even more interest.. comments from both single and married, women and men alike - many encouraging martha to step it up as cooking is something that is simple, necessary and perhaps fundamental to the procurement of a husband. the poor girl. good thing is, having heard her talk on the boundless show i know she's got a funny bone to her advantage and isn't likely to crawl into a hole of shame after reading some of these comments...
You're saying you don't have the time to cook now as a single woman? Wait till you have kids and are running a household! The time to practice and become good at cooking is now.
Why do you imagine that cooking such a steak or whipping up some mashed potatoes takes a whole lot of time? (submitted by a dude - followed by a detailed recipe.. followed by several females supporting his two cents)
I'd encourage singles to practice these "i want to cook for a family someday" skills in a realistic way:
-Get some good basic skills under your belt.
-Don't make every meal Kraft Mac & Cheese, but it doesn't mean that you can't have Mac & Cheese.
-Cook for others. Practice on moms who have had new babies or new neighbors or your community group or your Bible Study or your friends.
But I did once hear a single guy say "Ladies, when you're going to a party, never bring something store bought. Men are watching!"
Big, freezable portions are your friend. I've been single and living on my own for seven years and I've learned to cook delicious healthy meals for one without relying on jarred sauces.
;) You just need a little confidence in yourself!
You say you are concerned that it'll be a big adjustment when you get married? You are right to be concerned. It'll be a huge adjustment & disappointment both for you and for the husband you led to believe you were eager to cook for. It would be wise to begin practicing sooner rather than later. It would be a good way to serve your husband & children in advance of receiving them.
When I got married I wished I was a better cook because we kept having the same boring dinners over and over, plus my husband is never shy on letting me know when the food could use some improvement. There were more than a few crying sessions at the dinner table that first year.
I'm single and practically I bring something home cooked to work every day.
yikes. tough crowd. okay, so i really did just go through and selectively pick out the worst. there's definitely a fair share of encouraging voices and understanding that these sort of roles aren't singular to the success of a marriage. i also suspect that the guys i know don't necessarily find this to be a dealbreaker sort of topic. but just for fun.. let's say you really wanted to go little-house-on-the prairie on me, i'd like to propose the same to the men.
can you wield a chain saw?
can you build me the log cabin of my dreams? with nothing but a tomahawk?
can you bring home bear bacon?
can you wrestle a panther?
can you blow smoke rings with your pipe?
can you take apart a lawn mower and put it back together?
can you grow a legitimate beard?
can you rebuild an auto transmission?
can you build a fire? without a zippo?
can you do pullups? with your pinky finger?
are you man enough?
i rest my case.