let me be honest - being single is not easy. bam. said it.
but the more i think about it, the more i realize, it's my fault. people tell me that being single should be the best time of my life. my response to that is thanks but no thanks for your lame-O cop-out parasympathetic condolences. you have no idea what you're talking about. siigh i have issues listening to other people =/ cuz i'm starting to realize that those people might be onto something. i just have a hard time believing it and here's why..
for much of my adult life i've believed that real living doesn't start until you get married. why should i travel the world now when i can better enjoy it someday with a husband? why dress up and wear one of my stinking cool heels when i can bust them out when my tall husband takes me out on wedded dates? even my dear parents, bless their hearts, have an espresso machine and set of stainless steel pots stored in the garage waiting for the day i say i do. we all know i don't have any room for those sort of things right now but logic is ignored and the only message i hear loud and clear is that my life has yet to begin - so until then, i'm homebound, sipping on drip coffee and watching my shoes become so last year as the new wave of skanker heels make their way into stores.
but jesus says i have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (john 10) he's talking about the little sheepies here. without the shepherd, the sheepies would live in constant fear and limitation because of the real threat of being eaten. life would be restricted to their small patch of safety - even if it means chomping on weeds and bugs for the rest of their life. wanna try the exciting new blend of exotic grasses on the other side of the hill? no way! cuz the big bad wolf might be lurking around the corner ready to eat me. enter god. floating down on a cloud with a cool walking stick in hand, he says go eat yummy grass and i'll make sure the you don't turn into lambchops.
maybe living freely in christ doesn't exactly look like high heels in jamaica, but that could be a start.. the point is to get out of my bubble of individualistic self-pity and explore; whether that's in ministry, in spending time with friends (vacation buddy?!?) or finding myself a new home that justifies a new pots and pans set :D and the truth is, this life of service that he calls us to means getting out there and doing something! no more sad hermit days :)